Hi, I’m 19 and I was finally diagnosed with bipolar depression two years ago, my entire life has been a struggle. My parents divorced at the age of 7 and my father is a recovering alcoholic who doesn’t even live in the same state as me anymore. I’ve lived with my mother during the entire divorce and she is also an alcoholic and used to abuse drugs like OxyContin and distributed. She is a felon and is currently still drinking to this day, I have a lot of built up anger towards my family they have never treated me good. My entire life my mother looked at me as a paycheck for child support to supply her alcohol, I have supported myself emotionally and financially all of these years. I have had several jobs and currently have two jobs and I am trying to register for college in September. I am trying to get out of this situation I have been stuck in my entire life unfortunately i still live at home with my mother since I have no other place to go and she triggers my anger a lot due to all the years of neglect and suffering. It is a terrible feeling not knowing if you’re going to eat dinner that night or if you’re going to have a good day without arguing over something dumb with someone who is always under the influence. My depression has gotten worse and worse over the years due to several traumatic events I have had in my lifetime and I am trying to stay away from mood stabilizers due to the fact I knew several people who tried them and told me they felt like a zombie and not like themselves. I would like to work on my mood disorder the natural, safe way without all the medications. I have tried several things to help take away a little bit of the pain and nothing seemed to work, the only thing I have found helpful over the years is poetry, some people look at poetry in the wrong kind of light and I think people should be more accepting to try new things even if you’re unsure and that is what I am trying to do today. I am here to look for support and to find other ways to try and cope with everything I have going on currently, to those who took time out of their day to read this or leave some form of advice thank you so much it means a lot and I could really use the support from others to overcome these obstacles
bleh. I had to use my bosses Apple today. haha. I have been a Windows person my whole life. Macs frustrate me. I never understand why people think they are more simple. Different key combinations etc. Annoying. I have to do complex work already, and my speed was hampered by my bosses funky touch pad (instead of a normal mouse). Then he got his Apple mouse working....also not a standard mouse....
when I’m über stressed I cuddle the dogs. My moms oldest dog is the best. If you sit in the floor he will sit in your lap and let you cuddle him. And he’s 70lbs! My own pup hates being held and cuddled unless she initiates. She’s a bit like a cat in That way