Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hi, I’m 19 and I was finally diagnosed with bipolar depression two years ago, my entire life has been a struggle. My parents divorced at the age of 7 and my father is a recovering alcoholic who doesn’t even live in the same state as me anymore. I’ve lived with my mother during the entire divorce and she is also an alcoholic and used to abuse drugs like OxyContin and distributed. She is a felon and is currently still drinking to this day, I have a lot of built up anger towards my family they have never treated me good. My entire life my mother looked at me as a paycheck for child support to supply her alcohol, I have supported myself emotionally and financially all of these years. I have had several jobs and currently have two jobs and I am trying to register for college in September. I am trying to get out of this situation I have been stuck in my entire life unfortunately i still live at home with my mother since I have no other place to go and she triggers my anger a lot due to all the years of neglect and suffering. It is a terrible feeling not knowing if you’re going to eat dinner that night or if you’re going to have a good day without arguing over something dumb with someone who is always under the influence. My depression has gotten worse and worse over the years due to several traumatic events I have had in my lifetime and I am trying to stay away from mood stabilizers due to the fact I knew several people who tried them and told me they felt like a zombie and not like themselves. I would like to work on my mood disorder the natural, safe way without all the medications. I have tried several things to help take away a little bit of the pain and nothing seemed to work, the only thing I have found helpful over the years is poetry, some people look at poetry in the wrong kind of light and I think people should be more accepting to try new things even if you’re unsure and that is what I am trying to do today. I am here to look for support and to find other ways to try and cope with everything I have going on currently, to those who took time out of their day to read this or leave some form of advice thank you so much it means a lot and I could really use the support from others to overcome these obstacles
But honestly I was the same way. I didn't even "believe in" a lot of mental illnesses like a mood disorder before I was DX. I was narrow minded and convinced it was just a term coined by therapists to overprescribe drugs and an excuse for the person to act like an asshole. But let me tell you, I wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for meds. So hats off to you for trying to make it on your own. I admire that. But I can't say I agree with it. At least not anymore.
It's true the wrong meds or the wrong dose of meds will make you feel awful. And there might be a lot of trial and error before your doc gets it right. But when they do you wont feel like a zombie. And the anticonvulsant based mood stabilizers don't really make you feel like much of anything side effect wise. Some of the antipsychotics can be iffy but getting and staying stable is so worth it. You'll really feel more like yourself not less.
Sorry you've had such a hard time, stuff like that makes this disorder so much harder to cope with. You're a very strong person. I wish I had more ideas for how to cope and deal with all the hard stuff but I'm still figuring it all out myself.
Best wishes and take care