Big hug for you distarr..... Your family doesn't seem to know much about bipolar disorder even if they 'mean well'..... Neither do your friends

I think the kindest thing that we can do for ourselves is to accept our disorder and completely plug into treatment and finding stability

Otherwise you will be going back and forth with this ongoing..... We have a chronic but a treatable disorder starr

Stopping and starting meds because a friend says so will never help you..... I would work with your professionals .... It can take some time to find the right med/cocktail for you and find coping tools but you will and you can live a good life with this disorder

I was diagnosed 27 years ago and had symptoms for some time before the diagnosis..... Plug into good treatment and you will get this under control..... You have to have some patience and I know that, that isn't always easy

Big squishy hug......xo

distarr, i see your having a hard time with your bipolar and mood swings. i understand what you are going through its a big struggle sometimes it gets painful. im sorry your going through this horrible thing. i have question have you ever heard of the med caller saphris? its for bipolar and couple other things... i think it might help you im not saying you have to take it but it helps well it helps me and im about 17 maybe i dont know what im talking about... im just trying to help.. sorry

Thank you all so much for replying and the kind words, I am just so sick of feeling this way, I woke up today and starting thinking of the past and how bad this person that was in my life hurt me and I try to tell myself over and over good affirmations yet here I go slipping down this dark hole and crying again, I am so sick of crying all the time, I feel like such a crazy messed up person, and I have to hide it when I work or go out into the public, I’m supposed to go to my brothers today and I need to get up and out of this house but I know at any moment I could have a meltdown and he has enough stuff going on in his life I don’t want to bring him down... I just have to believe I do need medication I have never felt so continually depressed that’s why I think it’s a
Combination of coming out of an abusive relationship plus my bipolar I gues it heightens it.
Thank you all again for replying it’s good to know I’m not alone because sometimes I feel like I am the only person that is so sick and I hate it, I feel very alone and isolated and it’s not a good place to be
I try so hard to tell myself just get it together but this disease takes over me and I feel so helpless and hopeless, I try and look at the things I should be grateful for yet nothing helps this darkness that consumes me, it’s such a curse having this because at any time the roller coaster falls, I don’t want to walk around like a zombie either, and so many of these meds have side effects that make it worse, I have tried a lot of meds...
I can’t seem to find a doctor who I fully trust and vibe with so that’s a disappointment yet I do have a great therapist but you know it helps for 45 minutes and maybe that day yet within a few it’s over, it sucks cos I really can’t ever remember a time in my life that this sinking horrible depression has lasted so long at a time, I have always suffered with it but then I would feel good for longer period of time, that’s whats really scaring me, I know people living with bipolar have a high suicide rate and being abused in a domestic violent relationship makes everything so much worse, I have even been diagnosed with PTSD because of that relationship, sometimes I really think it would be so much easier to just give up then I wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore, but I really don’t want to go out that way, I really think my ex would love it plus all the lies he told people (he would turn everything around on me) he would just say see I told you she was crazy..
Why does life have to be so hard for some of us it’s just so unfair

I have no idea of what's happened in your past sweetie..... If it's someone who's continuing to effect how you feel I would discuss it with your pdoc......

The PTSD board on here is good and active..... We can have some of the same symptoms..... That's why some mental health professionals use the term labels now..... It may take some time to sort out what's what but you will ..... Gentle hug.....xo

This is a link to the board if you want to take a peek sweetie......xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd

Thank you for your reply and sharing that info

Hi distarr. It’s like you wrote part of my life story when it comes to my disease. You are absolutely not alone. Meds and therapy will be the key. And you have us. Prayers to you for strength and peace.

You aren’t alone and those of us with bp can relate to some of your symptoms. I wish you much support in finding a good doctor to help you work with you to get the right med combo. I hope the up and down feelings pass and you have some time of stability soon. Much peace to you. Hugs.

Thank you both for your kind words, it helps more than you know!