Congratulations on work. That's pretty big. Unfortunately, I know what you mean, although I'm better than I used to be. I've heard that anhedonia can be one of the last symptoms to clear during healing. Idk if this is true. Sometimes stimulants are used. Does your mood ever temporarily respond to good news?

Have you mentioned this to your pdoc? I know that when I'm in a state of depression but still able to function I cannot feel happiness. My body wants to but I feel like it's being held back and I feel nothing. It takes a while to get back into feeling again.

My pdoc says there isn't anything more he can do.I have moments of happiness but am generally unhappy.

I can empathize - I have fleeting moments of happiness but when I look at my life, I am ultimately unhappy. My PDoc says this is not true - and has suggested writing letters to myself when I am happy to read when the days are not so bright. A good suggestion, perhaps?

Congrats on the job. I have been where you are at before. It eventually passed...and I think it passed by getting on new meds, working through stuff in therapy and just trying to do new things, very very slowly and one step at a time. part of being patient, I guess.

I like spacekat's idea!

I don't journal because putting it down on paper makes it real and I don't want to rehash those particular emotions.

I've journaled in the past, but just looking at what I wrote makes me agitated and can cause panic and anxiety attacks.

I have to dig DEEP to feel true happiness. I fake it most
of the time. I'm on a very high dose of Seroquel and that too makes you numb.

Mike really trys hard to make me laugh and does a great job, but as soon as the laugh is over I fall right back where I was

Do you have dissociate problems? Being unaware were you are can also do that

It is so good that you are working. This is something I wish I could do again. I can't seem to feel happiness anymore either. I wish I had something more helpful to tell you. Hugs.

It's a tough one Derek,

Take it one day at a time check in with yourself and I bet you have some days that are higher than others...

Lack of pleasure and happiness is the worst symptom I have also struggled most of my adult life...

What helped? Vacation days and the use of Adderall a short term stimulant.

May the road go higher!

Hi Derek~~

Great job in willing yourself to work! That's commendable. I have a friend who experienced pretty serious anhedonia after treating for alcoholism. He worked with his pdoc and eventually his cloud lifted. He was taking lots of Vitamin D. Do you?

Much as I hate to admit this,I've never been a really happy person. If I let myself feel happy,it always seems like something terrible has to happen. I was that way even when my darling Mom was still alive. I'm codependent and knowing other people are not as fortunate as I am,and some are enduring great pain,I can't be all bubbly and overjoyed. If I read about a poor,helpless animal being abused, I can be depressed for days.So I empathize with you.

Are you in a depression Derek or are you flat??... I find my meds make me flat however for me it's better then the alternative

Have you tried to find other coping skills... As May mentioned daily tracking your moods may help you to be more aware

A cognitive type of therapy could really help with your mood as it gives you other tools

I find gratitude is the greatest help for me... big hug for you and a blessing...x

I give you huge credit for working and feeling like nothing for mood. I only know that when I was in depression I felt the same thing for like the past 2 months straight of unhappiness like flat like dead like not happy and feeling unwell. That is not an acceptable answer for me for your doc to say that. You need to get a second opinion. I called my pdoc and they said they would give me something more for the depression and it took like 3 weeks to kick in lets see what this wild ride will bring. I am just starting to feel happy again.

Yeah, my pdoc was always concerened with how I was feeling.
He would try new meds or increase my antidepressants until I was "normal". God bless him...he helped me live a great life!