How old is your child? And what is a DSI? I'm confused as always. LOL I would just go and get it for her. I wouldn't do the gift card thing though if she's a teen. But that's just IMO. So, he's wanting you to pay for HIS daughter's birthday present? Is it your step daughter? Maybe yall could go half-sies on both gifts? Make things easier for the kiddos. How you been btw? Haven't talked to you in forever girlie! :o)

a dsi is the next nintendo gaming console and is about 180.19 and I don't think he'd go halves he's an all or nothing kinda guy that's why my friend said we're suited for each other. He thinks i should have to foot my step daughter's birthday present along with his taxes and some of his car payments out of my loan money for school. I wouldn't be able to afford the DSI on my own maybe I should just get her a 50 dollar gift card and tell her she's just not getting a DSI till the price comes down.
My daughter is 9 and yes his daughter is my step daughter; Even if I get a 50 dollar gift card for my daughter for her b-day he's still making me buy his daughter her birthday present when it should be his responsibility and not mine. Other than disagreeing with the hubby I guess I am doing okay.....scrambling to write a ten page research paper for school when I can only come up with 8 and 1/4 pages myself. Looking to get more sources than are required for it today after class to try and get my ten pages. I just can't cheat and fill the extra page and 3/4 with BS it's just not my thing.

ohhhh, I know what those are. Duh! heehee. Man, he IS being a turd huh? Just do what you think is best. a 50 dollar gift card seems ligit. You don't owe him anything girl. Just take care of you and yours. Good luck on your paper. I know you can do it! Much love to you. xoxo

As far as the game console for your daughter I have to agree with hubby. I think 9 is too young for such a big present. I think a game console makes a great gift for the family, then you could get your daughter a game for the console. I've been trying to remember what I got for my 9th birthday but I know it wasn't much. I agree with you on the other things you mentioned and I don't know what to tell you but I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I am not familiar with "blended" families so it is very difficult for me to understand the dynamics of yours. There is alot of "mine" and "his" in all of your posts that makes it very difficult for me to understand how you can call your relationship a marriage. In the "blended" families and marriages I know of, property is shared in like and there is no "mine" and "his", "my daughter" and "his daughter". They are a family and they behave as one. The way you seperate your responsibilities seems to be what causes the problems because the financial boundaries are not specific but from moment to moment and situation to situation.

Pooling your money and using it to provide for your "needs" first and use what is left over for things like birthdays and Christmas would seem to solve alot of your problems. What really shakes me is that so many people use student loans for things other than education and then are unable to pay it back when the time comes. Maybe you are living too much in the "now" financially and not considering your future with your finances. $50 seems more than enough of a birthday gift for a 10 year old and would make it easier for "your family" to afford a like gift for your other daughter.

Set your limits and a budget and your life may be much easier to define when it comes to things like this.

xo

i totally agree with Shelly

Totally?

takes two to tango...or to use US vernacular you so enable the guy. Get help.

I can suggest a relationships board, rather than a bipolar board.

You will probably get more/better responses.

they never are in the beginning. whatever is being flaunted heavily in the beginning is usually the weak spot.

examples

if guy goes on and on about being responsible, hes not

if a guy goes on and on about how nice he is, hes a mean fucker

if a guy goes on about what a giver he is, taker

watch out for the less than obvious clues.

I have to agree with Shelly4. She wrote my thoughts completely.

I have always been afraid to leave my husband. He would surely get remarried and I'd surely kill his new wife if she wasn't totally wonderful with our children.

T

First, I agree that the way the financial breakdown is done isn't very practical when kids are involved. It worked great for me and my ex, but we did not have kids. My fiance and I share everything even though I'm the breadwinner and the children are his. For me, the needs of the children come first.

Second, I believe a DSi is okay at that age if it fits within the family's budget. In our family, we chose to buy a Wii first so that we could all play together. I wanted to wait on the DSi's because we didn't want them isolating (history here). But if the DSi is not in the budget, then whatever is ($50, $25, etc.) is okay too. But, I also believe that both kids gifts should be equivalent in value according to their age and likes.

A blended family is full of balancing and negotiating and can get very stressful if good boundaries aren't setup. Best of luck navigating this sticky situation.