Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm struggling this week. My mom has bipolar and borderline and I've suffered a lifetime of ups and downs. I moved across the country to be away from her. Recently my mom came to visit and she had a major meltdown. I don't know what else to call it. She gets into moods so black and dark nothing helps and everything I do backfires. She screamed and screamed at me about traffic. She belittled the work I do and went so far as to tell me she wishes I'd nwver been born. Mostly because she was tired, and hungry (these episodes often happen when she's tired) and despite my efforts to try and calm her and talk to her and take deep breaths everything I said or did was wrong.
She's said and done horrible abusive things to me since I was a child (including hitting me, making me walk home in the rain because I didn't want to listen to her music when I was 10, she would forget me places, and called me a bitch and a slut and worthless constantly in my teenage years and has said before she wishes she nwver had kids because we ruined her life...I have 2 older sisters) but to go so far as to tell me I should be dead and she wishes I wasn't her daughter was the most damaging.
i don't know how to forgive her, or even how to love her, and yet, she's my mom. I've always wanted to support her, I've always wanted her to say she's proud of me and mean it. I've always wanted to make her love me.
I need advice because I'm so angry right now. And I've talked to my therapist, I've talked to my sisters, I've talked to one of my moms really good childhood friends, but I'm still feeling lost.
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Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day. Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day! Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know." :D
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
Your mother has said terrible things to you that would be really hard to forgive especially if they continue
Are you in Trauma Therapy??…. therapy that is specific to trauma??
I'm wondering if you might have some complex trauma if you've been living with this all of your life
We have a good PTSD board on here with several members who have complex trauma
Here's some information on it
https://loveptsd.wordpress.com/2018/02/26/complex-ptsd-with-pete-walker-pt-1/
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd
This is the Family and Friends of Bipolar Board.... It's not very busy but you can look at it
It might be more beneficial to get more support for the emotional trauma that you've suffered for so long IMHO...… Big hug
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/family-friends-of-bipolar
For me, I was raised in an alcoholic home, it was hard. What I've learned is that my sensitivity and emotions can really do a number on me mentally. Making clear boundaries with my family, stating clearly what I would not accept. If there was fighting and my Mom or Stepfather tried to pull me in, I told them I'd leave and I did walk out the door. These changes don't happen over night and are not easy. I've been supported by attending Alanon meetings.
I do hope you'll find something to help....thinking my own low self esteem growing up...perhaps thinking and writing a journal about all your good qualities and all have achieved/overcome in your life? will help you to know you are Worthy and So deserving of good things to come to you.
Namaste Pema