How to cope with out medication ?

I can't.

If it's a matter of you not being able to afford the costs of meds, many Pdoc's will give you free samples.
Many drug companies also have assistance with meds.

If you are low income, your County Health and Human Resources should be able to get you signed up for Medicade.

I hope I gave you some ideas

Good luck
HUGS

Thanking you dancingd for responding. I will look into both of these.

I get my Lamictal from the pharmaceutical company at no charge.
Call the pharmaceuticals..they have special plans for people that can't afford meds. Also - Walmart. They have $4.00 prescriptions.
All of my psych meds are covered.
When I get bad mood swings like that I usually stay home alone so I won't take it out on anybody else. It's hard...but you can do it. Just stay in your room....or go to a park and read. I find it's best for me to not be around people.
Good luck w/your appointment next week.

Good advice all around Starzz. All I can add is make sure you have a Pdoc doing your Rx and be sure you find a reliable supplier.

Free or not it's my understanding some of these meds can mess you up if you run out or get stuck between sources.

Best of luck to you.

p.s. if those closest to you are getting pissed off by your illness...well that's their problem...just tell them they're lucky they're not the one's pissing you off because they have BP...it'll be better heard when explained calmly to them though, still no guarantee what you say will sink in though.

@ fdlstx....im sorry, im having a hard time comprehending what ur saying (im not the sharpest tool in the shed lol). but ive explained to my bf numerous times this illness and how its extremely hard for me to keep under control without going ballistic. he seems to understand at the time, nods his head yes, and says ok...but when I flip out, hell throw it in my face and call me crazy and stupid. tell me I have serious mental issues, that I need serious help, I need to be in a mental institution....and then I just realize that maybe im over reacting and I just start crying. then he seems me crying and wants to apologize....like WTF? and its just a continuous cycle..that never ends

Routine , a regular sleep cycle , lots of exercise . meditation , isolation if needed.
do you want to be on meds ?
Some states have free programs for low income or programs you can get into.

I am SMI in az and all meds are free . however not the best care but better than nothing
SMI- serious mental illness

I try to esacpe by taking my dog for long walks, sometimes the dog park. but there are a bunch of homeless ppl there. then my anxiety kicks in, so ill run back home. but when im home I walk on egg shells around my bf. I don't want to wake him up(he works 3rd shift), plus our bedroom has no door, so that causes more anxiety. everything causes anxiety. I just feel trapped grrr. I feel like I live in a prison, a prison in my own head

yes I defintley want to be on meds. I was previsouly on Depakote, and it did wonders for me. until the doc put me on abilify, which caused my anxiety to just go thru the roof. so I quit taking it, now im back in square one. I try to meditate, isolate, try new things...but my mind goes a million miles an hour, really hard for me to focus with all these racing thoughts...so then ill just start drinking to shut my head up...and I wont care about anything

Sorry Starzz...I'm going to assume you meant you had a hard time understanding what I was saying in that last bit...no worries you're not alone in understanding me sometimes.

I was just saying that it would be a different situation if the shoe was on the other foot.

Now that you've added the bit about you bf listening but not hearing you I can't help wondering if you should consider the pros and cons of your relationship with him...and yes I know it's more complicated than that.

Only you can be your best advocate and knowledge is the best medicine you CAN afford.

~peace out...in~

Good luck at your appt next week , I'm hoping you can get something to help . there are some genaric meds that are 4 dollars or so , you can go online and check the genaric meds , and like some one said , doctors can sometimes give out samples and some drug companies have programs for discounts , I don't know what they are , like needy meds n such . I am sorry you are struggling this eve , there are some here that will have more info than I .
Big hugs

Hi from England, so happy we have free prescription of drugs!! and if you pay its 8 each

i cant live without my meds

Regards John

hi happy are drugs are free or to pay is 8.00 each

John UK

two mega threads here that may help you

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bipolar_Disorder/advice/8224882-advice-link-free-health

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bipolar_Disorder/forum/13187966-lets-talk-programs-and-help

Starzz I can't help but address the cycle you mentioned about your bf.

First, if he agrees that you have an illness and can't always control your emotions, then he has no right to berate you when you're having a hard time.

Second, the cycle you described is an ABUSE cycle. If he tells you you're crazy, stupid, belong in a mental institution, that's VERBAL ABUSE. And him wanting to apologize after is typical of an abuser. The cycle will not end, and most often it escalates.

I hope you will carefully consider this, and can do something to change your situation. I know it's not easy.