I was allowed to have my weighted blanket the last two stays which was nice. I found straight pins in my one blanket that I forgot to remove while sewing. I have one to the nurse and said it was in my clothes. I threw the other one in my bathroom trash for fear of them taking away my blanket or clothes. Could’ve had fun with those pins though.
No one made me color there was just nothing else to do. Their markers sucked and they kept taking them away to use in the groups I never went to. Blessedly my parents and sister brought me some great adult coloring books and my pack of 100 markers which I was surprisingly allowed to have.
The day before I went home, there was a guy there who took off his clothes and walked around the unit with a male nurse chasing behind with clothes. It was hysterical and the only time I laughed except talking to my mom on the phone.
On my first trip there was a couple of ladies who were nice to me. Even though I didn’t speak a word to them they kept inviting me to their table to color and listen to the radio.
On my second week there was a guy who went apeshit and started throwing chairs and bashing the walls. The nurses told us to go to our rooms but mine was on the picu very near the crazed man so two of the ladies brought me to their room and held me while I cried in fear. They were so kind.
Both went home but on my third week one came back and I was so pleased to see her that I ran to her and we hugged. One of the nurses said we couldn’t hug so I yelled for her to bite me. So nurse ratchet came over and lectured me on why physical contact between patients was not allowed. Bitch.

Thanks, everyone. I learned a lot and feel better that it wasn't me.

I was hospitalized on three separate times and it was pretty brutal. But there were some positive things. For me, the hard part was some of the other patients. Maybe a few bad egg professionals who were unnecessarily rude or treated me like i was just a piece of worthless garbage. I spent time in therapy talking about some of those experiences bc they made the whole hospitalization process feel like a traumatic experience.

But! There were some really beneficial things, too. Wonderful people and memorable conversations. Art therapy was the best and I went on to do an art therapy class for a few years.

If I ever need hospitalization again I will request IOP, intensive outpatient. I gained so much from that, and it was a turning point for me.

I’m heading into round six of IOP per my therapists requests. It was very useful the first couple of times but at this point the only reason I am going back is as my therapist said to give me some structure in my days as I am now unemployed. But I would still recommend IOP to anyone in need of it.

Also, the day after I was initially discharged two weeks ago, I went directly to my pdoc who sent me to a residential facility so he could fix my meds that the hospital fucked up. I was there for 24 hours before they sent me back to the hospital. They make you do chores every morning. The food was crap. The staff were rude. And even though I was vomiting, they made me sit in an office for three hours while they did my intake. THAT was hell.

Thanks again to all that replied. It gave me a lot to think about. I think my TDoc is thinking about me going inpatient or IOP. Both of which would destroy my job. I feel trapped by necessary care and the requirements of my job. The job is a positive good, I derive purpose from my job. Without a purpose I am suicidal. Too much time in the military. I am my job.

Thor, I lost my job because I took so much leave. I was only part time though and didn’t qualify for FMLA. Is FMLA an option for you?

I have been on both sides of this.... I have been an involuntary patient twice and I was also a psych nurse

I never had a problem being there I suppose because I knew that people were working to help to save my life and get me to the next good place

That is the whole purpose of observing someone when they may be a harm to themselves

This illness has potential suicide sadly as a symptom and the staff want nothing more then to help to save your life..... Big hug......xo

I was locked up for the first and hopefully last time 2013. This happened when I waa officially diagnoised with BPI I decided I could make my bp go away by away by taking an additional dose if lithium. So levels got messed up and wind up locked up for a week. First thing that scared me is I was locked up with men on the same floor. There were 2 people to a room. So I was with another woman. The place felt dirty. It was all white. I had to wear a hospital gown. But they would let us wear our clothes we wore when we got admitted. So I was allowed to wash my clothes daily. Not everyone did this. There was a main room where we would be on a kumbaya schedule. Where the therapist of the hour spoke to us feelings and yada yada. There was an old box TV with VHS puzzles. I was working on my masters degree and my counselor was nice enough to let me do my online schooling in the computer monitored. That was a miracle. It felt a bit like jail. Windows had like bars kind of. Shower was brutally cold. Food was edible. But watching others who really struggled with issues scared me bad. There was a pay phone you could use if you were allowed during certain times with limits. They paid for my cab home. I never EVER want to be locked up again

yeah it was like prison. didn't come out much different. at all. they just switched my meds around. was only there one week

I was in a psych hospital 4 times in 1997 and 1998. I was locked in which made me feel safe. It is a different world inside. I was protected from the outside and from toxic situations and people. I went to group a couple times a day. Saw the pdoc once a day. I guess I was on suicide watch, but don't remember much because I was so sick. We had a courtyard within the ward where we could go out and smoke. The food was good, gained 10 pounds! The nurses were good except one nurse asked me how I could consider suicide since I was a Christian and I complained about her to my pdoc. That was the only bad thing I remember happening. The main thing was I was able to come out with the suicidal ideations and plans gone and entered outpatient treatment at the same hospital for 2 weeks twice. That was a good experience for me. I learned a lot about my illness and coping skills. The outpatient treatment lasted several hours all day 5 days a week. I can't say I was "cured" by any means, but the stays were a positive experience for me. That was many years ago though, so I can't say how things are now. I just know that they saved my life and that was worth being in there.

That sounds absolutely awful. Like, that would be the cause of the loss of my sanity, not making it better. How does that fix people? Thats f_in insane to me. Wow. I have never been admitted. When my snap/moment/big event that caused me to question if everything was all right with me happened. I told my doc and he sent me straight to the psych hospital. Just an evaluation but i was locked in this hallway with two locked doors at each end. There were rooms in between, me and two other patients. I couldnt f_in eave and noone came in ti talk to me forever. It looked like a huge abandoned school and the hospital was in the back of it. Everything was all beat up and depressing as all hell. My doctor alked in, limping, barely keeping his eyes opened, obviously overworked and hating hos job. The. He prescribed me some bs concoctions of medi cines that together were suppose to help.