Well, there are a few things that could come into play here for you. I know that when my children were younger, it did not bother me so much, they were still learning. As they got older, their actions upset me more because I expected them to know better.

If your daughter is younger, maybe your patience with her is greater. You might explore your relationship with your step daughter too. You may be harbouring some underlying resentment toward her because of her behavior. I am sure she is struggling too with the adjustment of a blended family.

I think it is important to remember that we cant control the situation always but we can control our own behavior and think before we act. Otherwise, it is just a vicious cycle. The more she misbehaves, the more you react. The more you react, the more she misbehaves.

I hope you can work through it.

Hugs

I'm a step-parent too and step-parents are supposed to be mean and spiteful. It's in the rules. That could be funny but it's not. Anyway, why wait to be provoked? Be angry and irritable with everybody. Don't show favorites and you'll feel better about it. Again, that could be funny. I realize that as a parent I've had many failings. I try to show my kids love and accept that I did my best.
You're not the only one.

Thanks shelly... I always like your opinion on things. You harbor a lot of experience with kids and life in general and you are always gentle and yeah the little one is a little younger she is 2 years younger and maybe I am just biased because she is blood relation and the other is just step. I also don't like how she walks all over her father.....but what can I do except for sit back and watch the misery.

I know if I get angry and irritable with the hubby he doesn't like it.....maybe I should speak out more when she is rude and inconsiderate towards him. I was about to today in the car when she was displaying this type of behavior but I sucked it up and bit my lip. Thanks Tommy..now I don't feel so alone and feel like I am the only one who makes mistakes when provoked.

Thanks sweetie.

A good option for you here is to talk to your husband and set boundaries for your step daughter and yours. Discuss things that you agree on together to enforce with both of them. Things that you will not tolerate and consequences they will have.

It is important to agree on how you handle things ahead of time so you dont argue about it in front of them and give them ammunition to use against you. It really boils down to respect that they should both have for both of you. Hugs

Well what I don't really like is when she gets into an argument and disagrees with my husband she will say to him "Whatever you're just not listening to me or paying any attention to me." And he let her walk all over him in the car today and it drove me insane. I was angered inside and didn't say a word because I didn't want to start a fight. Thanks again Shelly.....we should really set boundries about respect.

The kids are 8 and 10. My Athena is the youngest.

Most of the time kids dont agree with us. She just sounds very vocal about it. My husband NEVER tolerates disrespect but he doesnt let the little things get to him either. If they are arguing he ignores them because he believes what he says goes and it doesnt matter how much they want to argue.

Its always a work in progress with kids. Hugs

Ahem...

*Enters stage left*

"I believe the children are our future,
Teach them well and let them lead the way,
Show them all the beauty they possess inside,

Give them a sense, of pride,
To make it easier,
Let the children's laughter,
Remind us how we used to be..."

*Exits stage right*

My husband lets things slide more often than he should. Then he wonders why she still shows disrespect.