Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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So my best friend has been ignoring me since I got out of the hospital for attempting suicide. I understand that attempting suicide is really hurtful to the people around me, but I don't know why she won't talk to me at all. She has attempted suicide multiple times herself.
What is going on now is I had finally asked her what was wrong after a week of her avoiding me and she said "we need to talk". We planned on meeting yesterday at 4. I show up at her apt and no one is home. I try calling and texting and she didn't answer. I went home. I saw on facebook at 4:45p that she posted from her phone a pic of her at her bf's house. It wasn't until 5:50p that she finally texted me back and said she "fell asleep". I'm sorry, but that seems like bs to me. I told her that if she wasn't ready to talk that was okay but that she should just tell me. She assured me that she really did fall asleep. Maybe she did but a)why weren't you paying attention to the time and set an alarm? b)why did it take you so long to respond to my text when I know you were awake for an hour beforehand. I finally texted her to see if there was another time we could get together and she never responded. I give up. I just don't know what to do about it anymore.
What is going on now is I had finally asked her what was wrong after a week of her avoiding me and she said "we need to talk". We planned on meeting yesterday at 4. I show up at her apt and no one is home. I try calling and texting and she didn't answer. I went home. I saw on facebook at 4:45p that she posted from her phone a pic of her at her bf's house. It wasn't until 5:50p that she finally texted me back and said she "fell asleep". I'm sorry, but that seems like bs to me. I told her that if she wasn't ready to talk that was okay but that she should just tell me. She assured me that she really did fall asleep. Maybe she did but a)why weren't you paying attention to the time and set an alarm? b)why did it take you so long to respond to my text when I know you were awake for an hour beforehand. I finally texted her to see if there was another time we could get together and she never responded. I give up. I just don't know what to do about it anymore.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I'm sorry you ended up in the hospital, been there done that and I know you must have been hurting really bad to end up there. I hope you're feeling better about things now? It's really hard when the people we care about treat us badly. Is this friend someone you would usually share your troubles with? And I assume she has some sort of problem herself to have been suicidal?
It could be that your friend forgot she was meant to meet you and then felt guilty or awkward, so said she fell asleep to get herself out of it. Sometimes people tell white lies because they think it's less hurtful than the truth, I fell asleep is a little less brutal than, sorry I know you really needed me, but I forgot all about you. Or it could be that she's having some issues herself and couldn't face the talk? Your friend ignoring you when you need her is inexcusable and I'm not trying to condone her behaviour, I'm just thinking maybe there's some underlying reason for it. She may not have replied to your last test because she feels awkward or thinks maybe youre mad at her. Or maybe shes changed her mind about what she wanted to talk to you about, but doesnt know how to tell you. People are weird, even the so-called normal ones and sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing something because we imagine it will go badly.
Maybe you could try giving her some space for a couple of days and then text asking if she wants to go for a coffee or catch a movie. That way youre not emphasizing the talk you two need to have. If she still keeps ignoring you, then maybe you need to leave her behind and find some more supportive friends. I know that's really hard, but it is doable.
Hope this helps
Khaos x x x
It took me ALLOT of years to be able to enunciate that. Even now, I am far from certain. Unfortunately, the dear friends I did this to are nowhere to be found all these years later.
I tend to attract to folks who have similar issues. We bond fast and deep, based on those issues. We then proceed to feed each other's illnesses until we are pulling a Thelma and Louise, straight over a canyon wall. Still haven't learned how to cherish that particular bonding without losing myself in it.
I often pray that these dear friends have been able to forgive me.