I know how you feel. Somedays I just don't which traits are part of my personality or just side effects of my medications.
I feel like I"m in here somewhere though...just need to get past the fog.
And HannaHana, I"ll help keep you motivated : ) I"m still doing my weight watchers points and I"m five pounds down so far. If I can do it, I think anyone can!

wow i could have writin this thread..i say that all the time to my husband ..i look in the mirror and i dont know whos looking back. i need some of me back. where am i ..i so get what you are saying.. i think part of it is the bp but i also think part of it is the meds ..i think the meds take so much from us.. they are so powerful ..thats just how i feel .but i know with out my meds i would be in serious trouble mentally so its a double edged sword for me.so i guess i will have to find myself somewhere on these friggin meds..

I'm trying to do the same. But it gets REALLY hard to do with all of the distorted ugly, mean things that are said simply to hurt from toxic mothers and sisters. Just deciphering fact from fiction is difficult much LESS finding who *I* think I am.

Sigh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn7d7gZj_qc

I don't really know who I am anymore.......I want to have friends who visit and laugh, but I don't have any......I'm trying so hard to get things together I feel so sad

this is my motto " do it even if you hate it" i go to the gym everyday i force my self i am in great shape because i force my self and i always feel better after.. dont think about what you want so much write down what you can do every day to get closer to your goal start by going to the gym 1/2 an hour a day eat healthy you will se results and start feeling more in control and go from there... dont worry so much about finding your self just worry about today and doing your best set those daily goals little by little you will find who you are.. i have felt like that i do feel like that but now i dont worry so much about finding my self i worry about living the day good luck sweetheart and i know that you will do what you have to do be strong and trust your self.. hugs

I have written down in 4 seentences what I want to be. Then I hve written mass shit for each of those sentences of things I can do to get to that point and then I just start digging away. I break down nad get suicidal sometiees I take too many drugs at others I get anic I get no closer but at least my head thinks it is going somewhere.

I've been working on trying to find myself for the last few years... I did really well from 1987 to 1997. (19-29 years old) Hit a rough patch in 1997-1998 but managed to recover. Did OK until 2001 and then another "Bump" Minor episodes in 2003 and 2005 but got though them.
Then Things went to Shit for me in 2007 and it took me several months to get it back together. Here it is over 2 years later and I am still "lost" but working hard to rebuild my life AGAIN. I am still trying to find direction and success. Damn Bi-Polar But I've got no choice but to live with it

Sounds so 70's - "finding yourself" ha!

i want to be that fun loving good friend that i once was before i was lost in the abyss. i want friends again. not family that i talk to everyonce in a while but a real friend. doesn't help that i want to be a recluse but i force myself to do things that are meaningless. i make a great first impression but suck at the follow thru.

DITTO I RELATE !!!!!!

i'm slowly finding myself again, i'm laughing again, enjoying my kids, finding friends, enjoying myself. Being stable. It's about accepting myself and letting go of those who can't or won't accept me and my illness, staying on my meds and most of all, for myself, it was about letting go of the guilt.

Horray for you for wanting/trying to reinvent yourself. I don't have the strength or energy anymore. I think about who I used to be.....