Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Feeling totally lost

caites13
caites13
Hi everyone. Just a little background story here, I'm 22, I work full time as a direct support worker for people with disabilities. I love my job but it's emotional draining. I'm going to school to be a social worker. I've had a lot of struggles in school due to depression. I was diagnosed at 19 with bipolar 2. I've tried loads of medication combos, and I always got the side effects too extreme. The last combo I tried worked well but caused damage to my hand so that didn't work. So I'm currently not on medication.
So my current situation is that my anxiety is out of control. My stomach constantly hurts and I can't sleep ever. It's impacted my work and my personal life. It's pretty awful. I've been slipping into a depression yet I feel myself being more reckless, especially when it comes to sex. Which isn't good. I'm constantly just struggling with what I feel and I don't know how I feel sometimes. I have great friends who are supportive but my family doesn't view mental health the best so they aren't the best support.
At which point do I tell my boss about this? I can't afford to lost hours because my bills are already pilling up.
I don't know if this is clear or more of a rant. But any advice is welcomed.
heretic55
heretic55
I understand what you are talking about. I can only tell you that my experience was that I had to try MANY medications, some with horrific affects, and finally after two terrible years I found meds that work. And being on the right meds has completely changed my life. There were many times I wanted to quit trying different meds. There was a lot of suffering involved. But now I am soooo glad that I stuck it out till I finally found what works. I have Bipolar like you and I tried many things to help myself before trying meds. I honestly don't know anything that will help like meds do. I can see how much you are struggling. Talk things over with a pdoc and/or a therapist and try to get a picture of where you should go from here. I hope you can find some relief soon.
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
hi, as Heretic says it unfortunately can take a while until you find the right med.

I'd agree it's worth talking to your doctor before you think about declaring. I had to declare at work but I'm in the UK where they have perhaps better protection against discrimination and I work for a very large company so to an extent it was a reasonably safe thing to do. Your situation maybe different.
caites13
caites13
My boss is super supportive and loves me. My position is secure but a girl I worked with had mental health issues and put the people we support in danger, so my boss is very unsure about leaving her alone or anything st this point. I want to tell my boss to explain my behaviour lately, my irritable self and such but I don't want her not to trust me so it's hard.
dobiedots
dobiedots
I don't think its a good idea to tell people in the workforce about this illness, esp. your boss. They don't understand it and are usually afraid of it. And they will look at your differently.

We don't normally tell our employers about our medical problems, why should Bipolar be any different?
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Welcome caites.... I agree that it's important to find the right med combo and it can take quite some time... All meds have side effects... I've found a combo that I can live with and it isn't perfect however I'm stable

I'm glad you've found the board here... a lot of us have had trouble with family acceptance including me and I was an advocate... So I now come to places like DS where I've made good friendships with people who understand mental health disorders and care

Perhaps you've taken on too much... I would definitely discuss with your doctor getting back on medication... Big hug...x
caites13
caites13
Thank you for the support. I applied for a mental health worker yesterday and I saw my doctor to be put me on an anxiety medication until all my medication get sorted. Here, where I live, it is a long process before getting med. 5 weeks to see your worker, two meeting before you get referred to a psychologist, which takes 2-3 months to get a meeting then you finally get a medication plan. Of course, one step closer is better than nothing, therefore I really hope these anxiety meds hold me over. I can deal with the depression better without this constant anxiety.
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