Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Feeling Disconnected

feelingveryalone
feelingveryalone

Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well. I havent written in a while but wanted to think out loud and see if anyone has felt similar to this. Right now I'm having my longest stretch of a consistent average/good mood since I was diagnosed two years ago, I'm motivated to work on my school work and finally think about the future but something still feels off. It's like a weird feeling in the back of my mind that's feels like saddness but isnt enought to break through and give any real emotions if that makes sense. I've been working with my therapist on DBT skills to help manage my anxiety and while those small steps are good I just feel frusturated that I cant do anything without over thinking or getting anxious. I also have the tendency to research everything so I can try my best to understand why this and why I just feel disconnected. I'm trying my best to stay afloat and work one day at a time because when I really look at this part of my life its overwhelming the amount of energy and time spent everyday to get to proper functioning. I'm wondering if it always feels like this and will I ever really feel ok again? 

mcosta314
mcosta314
Well, it sounds like my mind crossed dimensions and is coming through you. You just described exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm afraid of feeling too hopeful for anything. Like....like it feels like I'm overdue for a stressful freakout. And it hasn't even been that long for me! Your name is feeling very alone, I do too. "We're alone together!" as one of those "during these times" COVID phrases goes. My point was, it applies because I'm feeling the same as you. I'm new to this, not only this site but support groups in general. I don't connect to people easily, I feel awkward real quick and end up sabotaging myself. Let's be in this feeling together and not be afraid to talk about this stuff! I definitely need to work on that, maybe you could help me?
MissJazzySailor
MissJazzySailor
Hi feelingveryalone. I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough spell. Bipolar has its ups and downs, that's for sure. I have been on meds 20+ years and have found that the sadness and anxiety creep up at times, but then will subside, and I can go back to feeling like me again. It took me a while to find out was "me" actually was. I start wondering was I ever normal? What is actually a normal me look like? Will I ever feel okay again? And then the thoughts keeps snowballing and my anxiety goes up. Lots of deep breathing, pulling skills out of your coping toolbox, and just riding out the insecurity has helped me get through these times. Eventually I end back up feeling okay. Glad you shared! Hugs!!!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug feeling..... I'm sorry that you're struggling right now.... It does take time for therapy to 'do it's stuff'

When I was first diagnosed I was in a cognitive group weekly for over a year and it took most of that time before I really noticed how good I was feeling and healthy again

I would recommend group therapy to any and everyone.... It really helps I found at least to bounce things off of one another and start to 'see' yourself in another's descriptions

Vent vent vent... It does help.... xo
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
I would agree group therapy and connecting with what struggles others have had was super helpful to me. I also did a lot of workshops and things for a few years.
cici65
cici65
feelingveryalone - You spoke my words as well. I've been in a good place for many months now, but the anxiety I have that makes me overthink and over analyze everything is there in the back of my head. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop. It's unusual that I've felt good for this long, so I'm not totally OK. There is a sadness there that creeps in wondering which comes next - mania or depression. I wonder too if I'll ever get to feeling normal. Anxiety is my biggest enemy! So I know where you're coming from. I often wonder are there any bipolar people out there who have it all together and are doing well for real for a LONG time. Is it possible even?
jessekay
jessekay
Welcome to the board again yes I can completely agree with you on so many levels of how you’re feeling I have some of the same symptoms and go through it every day but remember that things don’t last in our permanent suit home think that this is going to be how it is all the time keep going to your counselor and just enjoy life and enjoy things you like doing and remember self-care you are not alone and I want to tell you that
With the pandemic things have been flipped upside down there are days that I just don’t know what to do but there is hope and you will get through this just a little word of encouragement don’t give up you have you got this
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