Not sure what pink slip is, I guess you mean hospitalization. I have been hospitalized five times so far and each for suicide or mania. I needed to "go inside" each time because the actions and emotions became too much. They saved me and stayed my hand from hurting myself. If you need to be hospitalized because you might hurt yourself then the place for you to be is in the hospital.

Kisses - If you think you are going to have to be hospitalized, think about taking some of these actions to make your stay more comfortable and less flashy (ie full moon).

Clothes - get about three sets of sweats (without a drawstring) and warm long sleeve shirts. Nice comfy socks (about six pairs) and some house shoes. Nothing can have a drawstring if you have to cut the string out. I have sweats that I call my "crazy pair" because those are what I wore on the inside.

Books - get a few books, nothing with a hardcover but get something to read. most of your time inside, you end up staring at the walls. Bring a new journal. do not bring any writing instrument as it will be seized.

Toiletries - Get a few of these: deodorant, toothbrush, and some toothpaste.

Just the most basic stuff. But you should be able to keep these on the inside. You will have to ask to get access to them. They will be available at the front desk and you can get the item and then return to them when you are done. If you don't bring sweats you will be in a breezy hospital gown (probably) and I am sure you would rather have something with a bit more coverage and warm. It will be cold on the floor just like it is in all hospitals.

Pink slip is a 3 day involuntary admission to psych. After the three days you can sign yourself in voluntarily or there can be a hearing to keep you admitted. I feel like such a failure. I cannot talk to my mother. I’m so stressed and the worries of everything going on in my life is overwhelming. I called my psychiatrist today and he doubled my zyprexa.

You are not a failure. If you need to go into the hospital to be safe then go. Thor had some good thoughts, I was always more comfortable when I had my comfy clothes and a good book or two to keep my mind at bay. Its not fun and its not always what we want, but sometimes Kisses its what we need.

Nobody here thinks your a failure, nobody. And you do need a break from the hell your mind has you stuck in and its not always possible to do that on your own. So, please be honest with the Pdoc and if it gets to be to a point before then when its too much, please go to the ER.

Take care,

Kat

This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve been inpatient multiple times. The last and best place I was at let me have my own 100 pack of markers and my own coloring books.
I’ll pack a bag and bring with me just in case for tomorrow.

Kisses - good deal. Sounds like your place was a bit less nazi than one of mine. For my long hospitalization (4 weeks) I had to take my shower in front of a nurse and they had to see me breathe every ten minutes. A bit disconcerting at night in the dark.

I’ve been to bad places too. But I have been to some better ones. Idk if I’ll have a choice on where they send me IF they send me tomorrow

It can be a lifesaver for sure... This has nothing to do with being a failure... It has to do with illness sweetie

I'm glad that you're reaching out for what you need.... Big hug....xo

You are not a failure.

You are Not A Failure!! ""Asking for help""" takes a lot of strength. You have that in spades Kisses. Yes, you have been in this place, it's not because of failure on your part, it's Part Of Bipolar! You know your symptoms, and are Doing what you need to get help.

Be Well and I'm proud of you, it's very hard to ask for help in this world where doing so can cause more pain.

Hugs, and Do bring your coloring books and pencils :)

Why then do I feel so weak? I got high in hopes of it taking the edge off, but no luck. Im just sleepy and I have the munchies. Ill be going to bed in an hour but first packing a bag in case I am admitted.

Because our brains get chemically fucked and convince us of all kinds of nasty things that aren't true. To be perfectly honest.

If you think back to your recent accomplishments, you know you're not weak. Its an illness Kisses, a chemical imbalance in your brain, disease, honest to God illness....that you can't control any more than you can turn your skin purple by wishing it.

How weak do you think I felt when I told my 18 year old son that "nope I didn't want to be alive anymore, and there was nothing he could say, or do, sorry...he didn't matter, nothing did." So, yeah we all feel weak at times....and we have to reach out for help, because we can't do this on our own all the time. He didn't just walk away and say, "okay mom, bye". He loaded me up in the car and took me to the hospital and sat with me in the car, in the parking lot, until I agreed to voluntarily admit myself to the care of those that could help me...it was a long night...moreso for him than me, its not easy being on the other side of this disease.

You are not a failure, you are not weak, but you do need some help out of this crisis. I truly believe you are strong enough to get that help....the same help we all need at times, not because we are weak, but because we are strong enough to know we can't do this crap by ourselves all the time. Because we are strong enough to not let the demons win and take from us what we fight for every damn day. You have a lot of life to fight for, your family, your doggies, your accomplishments, your talents, those nieces and nephews you love so much...that's a lot. And you don't have to fight by yourself, we are all here fighting with you. So don't give up.

Sleep well, have a snack for me, something salty maybe....

That’s a lot, Kat.
I’m still really struggling. Almost bedtime though so that’s a relief.

I'll be around for many hour to come, I'm here if you can't sleep.

You're not a failure. Med change and life change and job change is hard for ANYONE! Remember how brave you are everyday, bc you are!