Do you know what's triggering the panic attacks? Have you and your Pdoc discussed them? Did you tell the ER Docs that your suicidal? They can't help you if you don't tell them the whole truth...

The thing about being so depressed that you want to be dead is, after a while you don't feel like that anymore. The depression tricks you into thinking that's what you want and that's what will solve all the problems, but all it's doing is making problems and pain for the loved ones you leave behind. So you have to fight it, and not let it trick you.....because being dead is not the answer.

I hope you'll be honest with the ER Staff and let them help you, and I really hope you'll stick around for your Grandma.

I think that you are caught somewhere in between depression and suicide and yet you did go to the ER. you know you don't have all the answers why not give the truth a shot?! good luck

I'm proud of you for taking yourself to the ED. Depression is an ugly lying monster that rears its ugly heard every now and again,

Hold on to your grandma. You don't want to hurt her. The other guys are right. Depression and bipolar are liars. Be truthful to the er staff. Take care of YOU

Definitely be honest with the staff. No one can help you if you aren't honest. I agree with the others, depression is a liar and if you can find the strength to hold on it will get better and you will be glad you tried so hard to work things out. Don't let depression win, you can do this!!! Hugs

I was honest with the ER doc and he agreed that being here is a good idea. Eddie didn't put me down, he was very understanding which shows me he might just hang around, for a bit at least

Focus on the love for your beautiful grandma and the love she has for you. I also had a beautiful grandma, who ironically gave me more love than my core family, even though this grandma was not my biological relative. Once I said "She wasn't the grandmother of my blood, but she was surely the grandmother of my heart." She was gone many years already when I attempted suicide. I lived on, and so did my memories of her.

I'm so glad you're ok. I lied to the doctors once. The next er trip I had was in an ambulance...and was in icu for a few days. I'm thankful I lived...I'm thankful for the little family I have now that I never would have met had that day gone as planned. I still get depressed, but very rarely do I think of suicide anymore. Depression and anxiety will always stop to say hello, but hopefully you get some advice that will stick with you when they do. Find the thing in you that you love...it's nearly impossible, but when you do...focus on that if this happens again.