Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Depression TW

Kitkat59
Kitkat59

The depression has been off and on but when it's on it's not pretty. I'm starting to get the thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. Feeling like I'm never gonna get better and I'm gonna just feel sick like this forever. And now the depression has set in and I feel like I'm gonna feel like this forever. And then my fiance came home from his moms tonight and stuff that I've been posting on facebook has been triggering her. She didn't want to talk to me about it she told my fiancé to talk to me about it. So now my fiancé is caught in the middle and I feel like shit that he's caught in the middle. The thing that it is that I'm posting about is miscarriage. There was a good chance that I had one based on having the endometriosis and stuff. My fiances mom said that when she had hers she was much farther a long and it was a really hard time for her. What, so because mine was barely a pregnancy it's not justified?!?! So yea, that didn't help the depression when my fiancé came home to tell me that his mom told him this. We're laying in bed right now and I just want to cry. His parents already kind of don't like me-ish because I'm not working. And they always tell my fiancé what they don't like about me and then he has to come home and talk to me about it. I just feel like I can't do anything right and I can't vent to my fiancé about it because I already feel really bad that he's caught in the middle of this. 

spacekat
spacekat
Wow, kitkat. Your fiance's mom is a real jerk. Can your fiance talk to her and tell her it's time to quit putting down his soon to be spouse? I'm sorry you're depressed -- me too. I'm fighting like mad - and i'll send you some energy to hold on and fight the good fight. It will pass, I tell myself that all the time, it WILL pass. ((((HUGS)))
beckyp
beckyp
So sorry for your loss. I, too, had a miscarriage years ago when I wasn't very far along. It hurt.
I think your fiancé should start standing up for you and quit talking to his parents about you. If you can, talk to him about this. You need his support and if he can't give it to you, maybe you should reconsider your relationship with him. Maybe some counseling will help you two.
mikes1648
mikes1648
what is it that watches all of this?
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
mike why are you writing this line over and over???

Kitkat I am so very sorry for your loss... It would be really distressing... Right now you may be dealing with both the change of seasons as well as being very hormonal if you were pregnant.
If you are suicidal or are low for more then a couple of weeks I would get to your doctor

You are an adult and can talk about what you want on a website ..... I would suggest to your fiancé that he let his mom know that since it was him she spoke to
It's always best I think that people deal with their own parents in a relationship.

It also sounds like there needs to be some boundaries in place.... Big hug for you and a blessing....xo
polarbare
polarbare
So sorry you are in pain .. A miscarriage at any point is distressing she shouldn't minimize your pain ... I think your fiancé should stand up for you ... You need the support.... I hope you feel better soon ...((hugs)) polar
Kitkat59
Kitkat59
Thanks so much everyone. It makes me feel better that my feelings are justified. It also helped a lot to vent to you guys. My fiance has stood up for me but when he does it leads him to him and his parents fighting. And I totally agree about the boundaries that need to be placed. I'm trying to figure out a way to talk to my fiancé about this without causing a fight or making him feel like crap, but on the other hand I don't want to bring it up because I don't want him to feel like crap and be caught in the middle. But at the same time I kind of feel like he's choosing his parents over me because he doesn't wanna fight with his parents. It's just not fair for him or I.
autumn8890
autumn8890
I think your feelings are definitely justified. I can not imagine a loss like that and I am so sorry you went through losing a child. I think it is best if your fiance deals with his mom because you don't need to be stuck in the middle either. Boundaries need to be set and he needs to stand up for your right to have your own feelings. I hope things get better really soon. I feel you on the depression but remember that depression lies to us and tells us that we are never going to feel better. That just isn't true. It always gets better...hang in there!
Jenniferswe
Jenniferswe
I am also very sorry for your loss. As far as your fiancé and his family, I went through something like this with my late husband and his family. They would be rude to me or treat me badly and he wouldn't stand up for me. It's that blood is thicker than water thing. Start with your fiancé by telling him how you feel. It won't be easy and things won't change over night. Big Hugs.
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