Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Depression Speak

HannaHana
HannaHana
I feel like I haven't showered in a month (though I showered last night). I feel like my clothes are dirty. I feel like I'm stale, Like a hardened piece of bread left out on the counter for a week.

I'm not particularly sad, angry, anxious or anything else....I'm just here. Devoid of displaying any emotion. I don't want to talk. I can't talk. If I tried, I might break down. Maybe. I might lash out. For one reason or another, I can't speak to anyone....even if it's ok by them for me to cry or lash out.

I'm alone in this. Even though I'm not alone, I could be talking my heart out....but then my heart is out in the open, vulnerable. I don't want to talk. I don't want a vulnerable heart. I don't want to go to therapy. I don't want my thoughts and feelings put under a microscope. Talking about it isn't going to make it go away.

I hurt. I hurt bad, and I just want it to stop. Physical pain, alcohol, benzos, narcotics....all a way to stop the pain...but I won't do any of those things.
dancingd
dancingd
(((hugs))

it suxs , doesn't it
deleted_user
deleted_user
yeah, i get so jealous when you all talk about taking xanax and some other forms of relief i don't have. but worried about how i would use them if i did.

i hate admitting this, but i really DO need to take a shower. and brush my teeth,

you don't even want to know.

stale piece of bread is good way to describe this feeling.
rubyblue
rubyblue
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad Hannah.... I think many of us can relate... only thing I can do is to try and ride it out...very unpleasant tho I know.. or more often that not I take a prn

please keep yourself safe x
Angel105
Angel105
Know how you feel. Stale peace of bread is a good discription. Thinking about it i cant rember the last time i got in the shower. Thats not a good sign. ((hugs))
jeansmind
jeansmind
Keep yourself safe is good advise.... I hope this rides out soon....

Wish you felt better....soon..... hugs...
deleted_user
deleted_user
very good description of this hell. (((((((hugs)))))))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't mean to be rude, but I think if you go to "buying an Island" ZN could use your expertise with the Depressive Tribe on Survivor - Bipolar.

And anyone who wants to join the manic tribe, contact me or Richard, or just come and post anything you want.

And hugs Hanna..... Before I run back to the game!
aprilraven
aprilraven
I've felt that way before, even as recently as last week. My meds have been adjusted a lot though and finally the newest one kicked in and helped me out of my hole. Wishing you the same success.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow...angela.

Anyway, just sending hugs and support your way. X
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like someone else said, I believe most of us have been there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hanna,

im sorry things are bottoming out.. you just had crappy news and things are a bit unstable and future unsure.

i pray it gets better for you and things look brighter soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
btw..

i could use your help on the island :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's the mania and the game, Twiluv!

Been there, done that for years, myself. Just hope I don't go back there, soon!

(In fact, I was looking for my daughter's driver education certificate yesterday, and there was a note in the file I kept from her. It said, "Mom, try and remember to have a shower and wash your hair and then wash your clothes if you can." It was written when she was about 10 or 11. )

What a miracle she turned out ok!
HannaHana
HannaHana
Called the pdoc, asked for an AD, she decided to put me on lamictal instead. Been there, done that...failed on it, but I can't remember why (thanks again ECT), so here I go again.

Went to DBT, was present and absent at the same time. But I went.

Thanks for the replies.
HannaHana
HannaHana
Called the pdoc, asked for an AD, she decided to put me on lamictal instead. Been there, done that...failed on it, but I can't remember why (thanks again ECT), so here I go again.

Went to DBT, was present and absent at the same time. But I went.

Thanks for the replies.