Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Continuing my story. I've been suffering terribly for awhile now. I'm on the fence about ending my life. The pain is getting unbearable.
On the other hand I have my 18 yr son with Aspergers. He isn't ready to go out into the world yet. My other thought is that he is too dependent on me. I've been working on this with him but not much progress. Something happened yesterday that really makes me feel like a crummy mother. My son has been 18 since early July. For those 18 yr old men who live in America has to sigh up for selective services(in case the military has a draft). It is the law. I remembered this yesterday. I asked my son if he had done this. He didn't know what I talking about. I thought they would mentioned it at his school especially when he was JROTC. I foolishly assumed they did. I got on selective service website. Fortunately they give you big grace period which is guy has until his 26th birthday. We got signed up yesterday online so he's fine now. They used run TV ads about signing up when I was in highschool. I have seen an ad for it in years.
The point is I could go my son in big trouble because I forgot. I just feel so guilty about it. This one of the reasons I don't think I am the best choice of mother for him. I'm just too much of a mess. I'm afraid I will make his life worse somehow.
I know that doesn't make a lot sense because he would be devastated if I was gone.
I've tried different coping skills to deal with all this. The little demons still attack. My head feels different when they attack. I'm on meds. and I tried others in the beginning. I'm tired of trying and not having the pain go away. I don't see a cure being developed anytime soon. Suffering like seems cruel.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Each day you do the best you can, some days your best will be better than other days..Ya just have to keep forging on....if it helps, I haven't got John signed up either an he is 20! Do I thin this is important No, he would not be eligible for the service and he is still in school.
There are many different organization out there to get your son off the couch so you don't have to wear the mean mom hat all the time. Check into BRS, bureau of rehabilitative services, they help people who have disabilities. Also your local employment agency. The kid has to get out of the house and experience the world beyond computer games....and we walk in the same shoes girlfriend of aspie and BP!