???

Why do you think you actually are a bad mom?

Hey Girl
I am not a mom so I am shooting from the hip but I believe parents have to parent and sometimes its not about being the most popular. Kids have to hear no sometimes and they have to respect you as the parent. If there is no control when they are young look out when they get a little older
No can be a great word
Big hug and a Blessing

Kids NEEEEED boundries!!! They want boundries!!! Boundries show that you really do care for them. Dont worry about being the "cool" mom...kids want someone that cares enough to set boundries. They need positive attention,they need to be told no if something is not in there best interest. Of course there not gonna like it at the time..but believe me they will thank you in the long run. Think about when they get out into the "real" world as adults and there not use to being told no at times,there not gonna be able to handle it. Your job right now is to prepare them to be able to take care of themselves as adults. First and foremost be a PARENT...friendship comes later. And one more thing...when ya set a rule..stick to it...so very important. I'm a mom of 3 kids that are 20,23,and 24. There all in college..and are very respectable adults. It's the hardest job in the world and the most important one.

My opinion...having kids over on school nights=bad judgement.

your thread is conflicting............do you want to be a "good" mom or a "nice" mom? The two do not always co-exist. I am very often thought of as mean I am sure but they would never say it or they would be pusnished for being disrespectful. They know that what I say is how it is and not to argue. If they do, they suffer the consequences.

You are not a bad mom for saying no or allowing her to suffer consequences.

Aw, as a mom of two son's Iv heard it all, gotta love teen yrs.
As I told my sons am not thier friend, friedly yes. And they know that No means just that No and I would and did take away thier pc's etc... and ground them and I wouldnt raise my voice nor watch thier drama fits and they knew not to enter my bd rm which had loung area w tv,pc, apt size refg.
They swore I had eyes in bk of my head,lol, just great neighbours, plus knowing store employees helped.

Am sure my sons at one time or another has called me mean and am sure that i replied that they were correct. Its call tuff love and part of being a parent.
I dont need my children friends nor my sons to think am thier cool friend. My son's are in thier 30tys and I still recieve flowers and cards espicially on Mothers day w gift card.

Its almost like a right of passage. all kids threw each generations show thier butts.

I am a mean Mom ... I freak out when my son tells me I'm nice.

Seriously, they have friends, they need parents right now.

When my daughter was three she used to put her arms around my neck and say, "You're my special friend." That became a pet phrase between us, "special friend." Now when I get frustrated with her, she cries and says, "you're not my friend." It worries me and hurts my feelings, but I don't apologize. What she really needs are more appropriate words to express her feelings. (She also says "you're mean"; in fact, I've yet to hear of a child that doesn't) So I say, "Let's use better words. We say I'm angry! I'm sad! That makes me mad!" When we give her vocabulary for her upset feelings, she refrains from name-calling.

Don't rely on your little one to define for you what a good mom is and pls don't try to be "cool". I validate your boundary setting. Don't take what she says so personally, Mom. She'll be okay.

i am in no way a mother but i am a daughter....its not like you lock her up in her room...she does have friends over ON WEEKNITES!! my mom let me have a friend sleep over every other weekend. shes just being a daughter and ur just being a mom. she will get over it. i did the same exact thing to my mom and now we are best friends.....so U R A GREAT MOM!!!!

Thanks everyone....she needs to know that boundaries are set for a reason, and I even got an I'm sorry later on in the night. After she threw up that is.....I had to clean up and put her to bed and I struggled for an hour just getting her in bed. She is now sick and she realized that she can't have friends over especially when she's sick. I normally watch them and make dinner for the two of them, but tonight's just not a good night for the both of them to be together. Plus She was over on Monday....she needs to realize that she doesn't get her own way all the time. I am a firm believer in boundaries....but I think she can have a little fun too.....and it's come the time where just mom is not fun to play with anymore. She is always complaining she's bored and doesn't want to spend quality time playing viva pinata party animals with me anymore. Thanks again....