Big hug Kisses..... I think people are super anxious right now and this sounds like anxiety talking

If this is a regular thing again I think a real discussion about what's underneath it could help.... You both have to be willing to hear the other and think about what's said without taking offence though

I would ask her if she wants to talk??…. Is she feeling a lot of anxiety?... I felt like this a couple of days ago.... I wasn't sleeping and I wanted to scream

I took some quiet time for me... Had a good sleep and calmed down....xo

Mom is definitely on edge. It doesn’t help that the kids are here. She is a yeller. It makes me anxious when she yells and gets mad. She needs to see a therapist and get her emotions under control. I have been in therapy for years and have learned so much. But I can’t work with my mom when she is only making me more stressed and anxious. She refuses to have a civil and productive conversation. I really want to have a family therapy session with her but she strongly dislikes my therapist

I would second SunCloud's advice but considering it's constant, hmm...

Stubbornness or unwilling to confront her own problems come to mind as to why she didn't. Or the cyncism would say, she looks down on you and deems you naive simply because you are younger. Age is just a number afterall.

So, I'm not sure if confronting her is ideal, but should at least be tried. It depends on how open she is when you do, I suppose. Especially since she didn't seem to apologize for her behavior once you left the kitchen, I'm going with stubbornness or blind-sided ignorance. Too much internalized introverted feelings with her.

If getting to the source is not possible, I hate to promote this sort of behavior but maybe somehow putting her in front of a mirror might force the much needed extroverted empathy out of her to change. Criticize her similarly and then point out the hypocrisy if she lashes out. Just don't make it a habit if she's indeed stubborn. Don't want to promote more conflict and make it redundant or worse. :P

Sadly, some parents or family use their kids/siblings as therapeutic punching bags in order to vent or alleviate anxieties. :/

Best of luck!

Well people are going to be more anxious and more short tempered these days. Being stuck at home all day and not being able to go out and get out doesn't help.

When your mom starts to wind up, perhaps you should calmly say, "mom I don't want to get in a fuss, so I'm going to take a break, I'll be in my room or outside for a break." If you want my help when I come back in, let me know.

You guys are going to have to communicate through these times otherwise they'll just build up and get worse, resentment tends to fester until it boils over like a bubbling pot! I doubt this "enforced time together" is going to end anytime soon, so using some coping skills and working through things sooner than later would probably be helpful. Perhaps you, your mom and dad could sit and talk 'calmly" at the end of each day and share what frustrated you about the day. So you're not carrying it over into the next day.

Make sure you're getting out of the house for some peaceful time to yourself, out by the pool, for short walks, etc. You don't need all the angst building up. Doing relaxation and breathing exercises each day as a part of your routine, like in the morning or as a part of your bedtime routine would probably be very beneficial to you.

Take care.

My dad can be really mean. However he has not been that mean recently. Just try to turn the other cheek I think. It's hard living with the parents. However, right now I am so glad to be with them.

Thank you all. Kat I try walking away but it’s hard at times when she really needs help like cooking dinner and cleaning and feeding the kids all at once.
Today was not one of those times and she didn’t need me so I confidently walked away.
At yikes when she has a million tings going on I ask her specifically what she needs me to do or help with and that helps.

Turning the other cheek is not an effective for everyone's Mental/Emotional situation. Especially for people who store negative emotional feedback and then let that feedback direct their emotional energy, i.e. sadness, depression, ego, self-worth, etc.

Your doing your best Kisses. Just try not to let it all build up, that's not a good solution for you. Your mom and dad are feeling the angst of all this as well and its hard when everyone is stuck in a house together. Remind yourself that sometimes, even though she might be snapping at you, it's not because you've done anything wrong. Maybe switch it up and ask her if she's okay, is she anxious or does she need to talk about anything. Mom's don't often get asked those questions....they generally get expected to fix things.

Hang in there.

Thank you Kat. mom has been on fmla since she got hurt at work just before Christmas. She is getting paid still which is nice but she is restless and I know that is a big stressor for her too. I’m trying to be patient and understanding. It doesn’t help when the kids are here though. She lets them get away with everything and gives them treats and snacks even when they don’t finish their meal. I try to deny them so many sweets and she says oh it’s ok they can have it. I have no Patience for the kids so that doesn’t help my temper and I am pretty even tempered. I can’t stand bratty children and mom lets these kids get away with everything. She lets them cry and act a fool and I am stricter with them. I love them dearly but I hate when they are here.

I'm with you on that, I don't tolerate bratty misbehaved children, so it would drive me nuts. Why do you guys have the kids, are y'all not on "stay at home orders"?

My sister and her hubby worked this weekend. The kids were supposed to go to their other grandparents but their County has a “no leaving the county” order. so the kids came here. But the alternative is for the kids to go to their other grandmother who has mobility issues and is incapable of watching the kids. My mom won’t allow them over there so they come here and my temper flies. And to think I majored in early childhood education!!

Yeah don't feel to bad about that, we often get through a Degree that we thought we wanted. I have a Degree in Computer Science that was started as a Masters in Computer Programming....it only took me a year to decide sitting around writing code all day would drive me insane. And that was just my backup Degree while I was getting my Ph.D in Psychology....I didn't have to be doing it, well I did because my brain worked that way, had to have a Main Career Plan and a backup or 2.

I've never really used that Computer Science Degree except to design some Websites for a few folks and do some Search Engine Optimization work for a few private Accounting Clients. But, yeah it's not something I could do full time for a living, I get bored with it really quick.

I used to want to be a Teacher at one time a very long time ago....then realized I didn't really like kids....they're a pain in the ass most of the time. LOL I like my kids, because I raised/trained them to be well behaved, normal, little people...but other peoples kids drove me nuts.

Psychology I loved because my brain could get lost in it for days if I let it...research, writing papers...studying the whys and hows....loved it, still do. Same with Accounting and numbers, I love having to find the solution to a problem...the challenge of it. My brain has to stay challenged or it tends to go to a dark and twisty place where nobody is happy! lol

Your mom tends to run your family, huh?

Wow that’s a lot of education Kat! I had no idea.
Mom definitely is in charge here. Dad does everything in his power to make mom happy. Unfortunately mom is seldom happy. She always wants more than what she has. It’s hard to make her happy. She is a miserable person at times.

Yeah I had a "mom" like that...but she was also mean ass psychopath most of the time....oh well, we don't get to pick 'em right? I never knew my grandparents but they were pretty miserable people, those good Catholic, salt of the earth mid-westerners from Indiana, tossed my mother out on her ass, because she was possessed by evil at the ripe old age of 15, and they had 12 other kids to provide and care for. In reality she was a grand mal seizure epileptic and they were just too damn stupid to know how to get her the help she needed, and their catholic prayer beads didn't quite work as a an anti-seizure med. So she gets a little grace for the mean ass psycho parent she turned into....but not much...not much.

If I'd not gotten married or had kids, in that perfect world that doesn't exist, I could have easily been utterly content being a "Professional Student" lol...just bouncing from Major to Major, learning all there was to learn about this or that...that would have been my perfect world. Of course that world does not pay very well and it's very, very expensive!

Sorry you had a Blah Monday, hopefully tomorrow will be better!!! Have you made any new animal beanie hats lately????

Damn that’s a rough life to live. I’m a Chris but I have enough sense to know God won’t heal my mental illness.
No new hats lately, just more bear clothes. I want to make a hat for a friend who just had surgery. Her leg is paralyzed from it and she’s younger than me!! She loves sunflowers so I made a sunflower and I want to put it in a little beanie hat for her.
I’ve also been sorting my yarn so I can be more organized

That sounds like a cool gift for your friend. I think you should make your animal hats, set up a small website and sell them. Their really cute!!! You could sell a bunch of your stuff.

We have a program here where people knit little hats for the newborns in the nursery and preemies in the NICU at UNC Hospital...I'd love to do that, but my hands don't work well enough for intricate things like knitting. My niece tried to teach me when she was here a couple years ago..and after about an hour...we knew it was just not going to happen!