Sounds like your meds are not working well enough..time to talk to your Pdoc...as far as ODing on Xanax..hmmm,hard to do and not a pretty sight
Hope you feel better soon

I dont want to talk to my doctor, it's been three years and I finally I am on some good meds.

If your thinking about suicide constantly, that means you ARE NOT on good meds.

It is very rare you will find a good support group for suicide - you have to be careful some end up promoting it more than helping you prevent it. I myself have had so many run ins with suicidal ideation i have tried to start some groups.

Really though, your meds could make %100 difference if you can get them adjusted to be on the right ones.

My doctor was a resident and is now moving to the VA hospital and I have not yet met the new resident assigned to me. I don't want to change medications that have been helping me. This obsession with suicide has just started and my life feels like its falling apart.

May be time to go to the ER. Sounds like a real monkey is on your back. We'd hate to loose you. Anybody know a good suicide hotline?

Please don't dismiss the idea of talking to the new resident.....maybe you won't have to CHANGE your meds, but just adjust them a little bit. It could make all the difference in how you're feeling.

They're there to help you.....remember that.

Meds are here to help us, but also, when tweaked, can intentionally kill us.

You definately need a tweak!!!!! You want to sleep forever? I know that feeling,not good my friend:( Please pull the coaster brake on your current way of everything,and down shift into life!!!!!! We are your support,and whatever you find else where is a bonus. Hang here, I promise I will be on as much as I can to offer a kind word,c'mon and hang huh? Do Over!!!!:)XX

Classic depression, hope. That's what's wrong. Med change time or something. talk to your doc. wish you the best in recovery.

Are you doing better today?

Hope, since it's being going on, pretty much regularly, for Months now, I think you should get with a therapist, as well as a doctor.

It's Not unheard of to have suicidal obsession, somewhat in connection with OCD tendencies. And you are not Completely depressed, I know that.

I have had obsessions about other things besides suicide, but I know where they may lead if I don't Deal with them. And they seemed like such Normal ideas at the time...

It's not about what's Wrong with you. It's about heading this type of thinking off, and getting the Right information about how to do that.

I hope you have access to a Good therapist - someone who will be sensitive, sympathetic, and understand you. Your family may not, but I do. I just don't have all the answers - wish I did. My "obsessions" took time to break, but they did.

You need to try it, hope. :) I believe that.

I don't know why you don't want to tweak your meds? If you are feeling suicidal then your meds aren't working for you?

I have a psychiatrist and a psychologist already. It's complicated why I don't want to tweak my meds. And yes I feel completely depressed. I am just trying to use school as a distraction for now.

you know, hope, sometimes, listening to you reminds me of listening to my son. Whom I LISTENED to, which makes a difference.

But when he got suicidal, he didn't just want to "talk" to me about it. That was and would have been okay. But he wanted me to AGREE with him that it was the best option, and That, I could not do. He is my Son.

So that was a struggle. Listen. I cannot Be there to slap you upside the head and try to talk Sense into you, and frankly, it's not like it will do any good. I'm not that blind.

Going through life with Hopelessness isn't doing you any good. But None of us are going to tell you, sure, here's a list of chat sites that will help you accomplish your goal.

Because we are Fighting here, fighting for something we choose to Want - Life. It's not "we" vs "you", either, because You are part of the "we" here.

I may "want" you to see that there is a way out of those feelings, but I can't "make" you see it.

But I can still Want to. I know something you don't. And it's simply that Life is still out there, waiting for you to catch up.

Mary Anne :)

I don't think a chat-room is ever a good substitute for the docs when you are in this state. People in support groups would tell you to go to the docs anyway.It's a no-brainer for those with a bipolar brain !
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