Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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We are having the same old fight with his mother, over the growing cat problem. I seriously believes she hoards cats to fill a need. The problem grew out of control when her husband die 6 years ago, For 6 years, My family has had countless fights over this. She can not care for 7 cats! just feeding them is not enough. They need vet visit and everything. The house alway smells. Because of the cats, I have grabbed a sweater hanging on a hook, off to wear to work, only to realize it is cover in cat urine. I have had my boots pissed on, only to realize after I got to work, Again. They ruin so much of my son things, they piss and shit on our beds, on our carpets, on our counter, on our clean dishes that are drying. We are getting ready to confront her, before we move to the new house. I don't want another house being destroyed by her cats.
I believe, that my family deserves a clean enviroment. I pay my share of bills and rent. I don't want to smell if a cat pisses on something and I just grab it and go, to only realize it later when its too late ( that was very dramatic for me.) I don't want my son getting made fun of for smelling of cat urine if that should happen to him.
I never invite friends to my house, I don't want my son to be shamed to invite his friends over.
How can we bring this to her attention, without her freaking out. She is already not talking to me, because her son confronted her, and then he was talking to me about it, so she is being all quiet, not talking to us, and bitching under her breath. ( She wouldn't directly confront ppl)
I know cat hoarding is a sign of a mental illiness. I am going to attempt an intervention, but how. We printed out alot of information on health effects on children ( Which my son did get bronchitis when he was a baby and the cat problem was at its worst, and it pretty bad now. So imagine that. I also printed out mental information for hoarding cats.
How many is too many.
Side note, I even tried to help her with the cats, but with School, David, talon and a fulltime job, its nearly impossible, hence why I only have a dog that goes outside to potty- and needs a walk once a day. I just can't care for more then 4 living things at a time. (my son, the dog, talon and myself)
How should I approach this, so it doesn't piss her off more. She is very defensive about this subject.
( Her other children that don't live with us, have an issue with the cats too, Talon's sister had to spend the night, because the water and power was out at her place, and The cats pisses all over her stuff, her husbands and thier kids, that they needed for school and work the next day)
His mother ( the cat lady) aviod her family, Doesn't join family events, and just stays in her room most of the time, ( she does work from home, but even when family is visiting she comes down but goes back up. Help
I believe, that my family deserves a clean enviroment. I pay my share of bills and rent. I don't want to smell if a cat pisses on something and I just grab it and go, to only realize it later when its too late ( that was very dramatic for me.) I don't want my son getting made fun of for smelling of cat urine if that should happen to him.
I never invite friends to my house, I don't want my son to be shamed to invite his friends over.
How can we bring this to her attention, without her freaking out. She is already not talking to me, because her son confronted her, and then he was talking to me about it, so she is being all quiet, not talking to us, and bitching under her breath. ( She wouldn't directly confront ppl)
I know cat hoarding is a sign of a mental illiness. I am going to attempt an intervention, but how. We printed out alot of information on health effects on children ( Which my son did get bronchitis when he was a baby and the cat problem was at its worst, and it pretty bad now. So imagine that. I also printed out mental information for hoarding cats.
How many is too many.
Side note, I even tried to help her with the cats, but with School, David, talon and a fulltime job, its nearly impossible, hence why I only have a dog that goes outside to potty- and needs a walk once a day. I just can't care for more then 4 living things at a time. (my son, the dog, talon and myself)
How should I approach this, so it doesn't piss her off more. She is very defensive about this subject.
( Her other children that don't live with us, have an issue with the cats too, Talon's sister had to spend the night, because the water and power was out at her place, and The cats pisses all over her stuff, her husbands and thier kids, that they needed for school and work the next day)
His mother ( the cat lady) aviod her family, Doesn't join family events, and just stays in her room most of the time, ( she does work from home, but even when family is visiting she comes down but goes back up. Help
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The weeks seem to fly by!Happy Saturday to everyoneI hope that the weekend brings some chill time and barbecuesDoes it take others what seems like forever to add a comment on the boards?I'm okay everywhere else except boards..Everywhere else adds normally but it's annoyingly slow!Have a great Saturday and do something nice for you!!Big hug...xo
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I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
Find out why the cats are doing this. It might be because the house is covered in the smell, so the whole house has become a litter box. If you take them to a new house, it will probably be the same.
You MIL is definitely ill, but not sure what you can do about it. You either have to say NO! To the cats, or continue to live with this. My suggestion is that you just take the cats and give them to good homes and don't allow anymore in the house. If she's hard to live with, doing this might make it worse, but maybe your health is more important than the relationship with her.
It will get out of control and if it is to fill a hole from her husband's passing than she will continue and collect another as soon as she feels stressed or triggered. It's tough but calling a professional or ASPCA might be your only way to keep her in check. Cats do better in even numbers.
Your concerns are valid and the entire family needs to do something. No matter how well intentioned people are it can just get so out of control especially if you can not afford proper care etc... Good luck and I do hope she will get help.
i say move out ASAP. the cats ain't gonna' change.
Free to good home: 7 cats, 1 MIL
I was thinking about posting an ad on craiglist to find some of the cats new homes.
She is 54, It is not her HOUSE, I PAY MY SHARE OF RENT. we live together for fin. reason. ((( I hate the her house comment ))) Its a rental. We want to tell our new landlord, but I don't want to be evicted.
But her behavior makes it sound like she probably does have some issues with being around people, so it's possible that she uses cats to keep from feeling lonely.
7 cats IS, however, too many for your specific situation.
If there are more litter boxes and if they are kept clean, the cats may stop urinating here, there, and everywhere.
Cats almost always prefer to use a litter box -- but not when it's too polluted.
Good luck with not getting her upset!! It might take close to a miracle to achieve that!!!
If you can figure out what need she's filling with the cats and figure out some other way to fulfill it, maybe that will help her get over losing her cats
She may love those cats as much as if they were her children. And who would be able to give up their children without becoming extremely upset?
I don't like this. I want her to be able to keep her cats and I want you to not have to put up with them.
Can she have ANY cats? Can she have 2? I don't think it's a good idea to totally deprive her of her pets if it can possibly be avoided. I'm not even sure if I think it's fair. IF she is capable of properly caring for 1 or 2 cats, I think she should be allowed to have them, just like you have your dog.
If she's a crazy cat hoarder, your intervention is probably going to do diddly squat. Have you SEEN those hoarding shows?!!?
The odds of her listening to you guys and reading info on hoarding and health and mental illness, etc., and then saying, 'Why, I think you're right!!!! I hadn't realized!!! Lets get rid of the cats right now!!!', are not good at all.
This may feel like life or death, to her.
Blech. Good luck. Here;s hoping that things somehow go well!!!
Sounds like your MIL should no be allowed anymore cats. I know that will be hard, but she doesn't sound like she's able to take care of them.
Forget about the support given folowing a sincere question. Whatever. You can't move, you can't tell your landlord? So, what help do you need? Many good suggestions and you hat " the her house comment".
OK then, good luck figuring it out........
Regarding the animals you could call in an animal agency in to inspect the home for the cats sake.. if she's hoarding she's probably unaware of the conditions or potential harm..x
Maybe you can get one of your local vets involved. Call up and tell the problem - sometimes they will come to the house and do an assessment. As someone said, she may view the cats as her children and have a really serious issue getting rid of them. But if she understands that she is not giving them proper care (vaccines, annual exams, flea treatment, etc) she may loosen up a bit. Sometimes it takes the reality of it.