I have been there, and I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling like this today. We are all so different in what helps us each individually, so I can only speak to my own turning points.

Getting medication right helped....if you’re on the wrong meds for you it can intensify everything. We know it’s not easy but keep working with your doctors, get another opinion if you can, and keep trying.

Environment...honestly some of my most zen moments are going to a park alone, even if for an hour, and breathing in nature and turning off social media.

Exercise you enjoy....Pilates and yoga help me with inner restlessness, still to this day.

Big ((((((hugs))))))))
It’s hard to make time for ourselves when we have to be there for everyone else but you are important and it’s worth it.

I understand how you feel. I’m sorry it’s rough. I agree with what Sensitive said. Getting you stabilized has a lot to do with meds. I’m glad you have an appointment Wednesday.

In the meantime, try to write down any symptoms you are having so you have that when you see your doctor. I tend to blank out sometimes when i’m In an appointment so writing it down helps. I just hand the list to my doctor and we go from there.

Also I go to talk therapy at least twice a month. It really helps me sort through things in my head. It can be challenging to find a good one but it’s worth it. My tdoc is in the same office as my pdoc and they are able to communicate frequently to find the best treatment plan.

I know it’s hard. Having been where you are even recently. It’s not that I wanted to die, but I couldn’t continue as things were. Keep reaching out. Maybe get a second opinion on your meds as Sensitive suggested.

Please go easy on yourself. And do the best you can with self care. If all you can do right now is exist then just do that. Don’t think you have to pretend to be ok when you’re not, And don’t put pressure on yourself to do more than you can manage.

Hopefully people are supporting you through this. And taking some of the burdens of everyday life off you. Even if they can’t understand it exactly.

If things get really dark, I would call your doctor today. Don’t wait and suffer. We’re here for you. Big hugs.

Big hug Kitty...… I think most of us have been there at least during the beginning stages of BP

It can take some time to find the right med regime and tools that will help you to find stability BUT you will find it

I had to try a few different combo's until we found what worked best for me...

Unfortunately we don't have a quick fix however there is stability to be had ….

You may just have to have some patience as hard as it is sweetie

If you need to at any time while working towards a better place call your pdoc……

I'm glad that you're here.... Things are going to improve for you …. It just takes a while to get to that good place for most of us .....

Big hug.....xo

When it has been that bad for me I want to an emergency room. From there I did a voluntary commitment to a mental health facility. Sometimes that is needed to stay safe and get the intense help you need.

Big hugs to you and do what you can to be safe.

Today is my first day on here. In fact, it is my first time seeking out others going through what I am going through. I've never really had much support from "friends" and family regarding my illness. The one person I could always count on to be there for me and keep me going was my sister. She was my rock, my "person". She passed away in 2012.

I truly understand how you are feeling. I have been battling Bi-Polar Disorder, depression and anxiety and all that comes with it most of my life. I wasn't formally diagnosed until I was 32 maybe? I'll be 51 in about a month. My point being, I have been at this a very long time.
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I can't count how many times I've wished I would die because I just couldn't handle it anymore and that I just didn't want to suffer any longer. But there is that little voice inside me that refuses to let me give up. I often think maybe it's my sister.

I could write a book about all I've been through and am going through, but right now all I want to do is tell you you're NOT alone.

I have always thought I am a weak person. But the fact I continue to survive and go on with life is proof that in reality I am quite strong.

You are stronger than you think. Reach deep within yourself for that tiny bit of strength that is there.

I am taking forever in typing this right now because I'm trying to encourage you and not have you misinterpret what I'm saying as it being too hard to go on. (And because my brain is not functioning well these past couple days because I am in one of my depressive states).

There are things to live for. Moments that provide us with joy. Try and think of those moments when you're not sure if you can go on. That is what I do and when I come out of these darkest times I am so grateful I held on.

But like others said, if you are contemplating harming yourself, get to the ER. I did once and because of it I was detoxed from current medication that wasn't working and put on new meds that helped a lot.

I hope I helped in some way and didn't confuse you.

I'm going through the very same thing right now and here I am telling you to keep going. Because you can, and you will be happy you did, I promise.
I'm gonna get through this episode too.

Do whatever you need to make it. I wish I could give you a hug, I'm a hugger and I could use one too :)

How are you doing? I hope your appointment is helpful. Whenever I have felt that way I have had to work with my doctor and/or therapist to help with what was going on at the time and get a Med tweek.

I went through several years where it took many different combinations of medications to get the right combination for my brain/body. It still happens when I have a Med change.

It is sometimes still a day by day fight when symptoms flare. When that happens I focus on getting through an hour, then another, then another, then an entire day. When it’s worse than that I have to break it down into smaller segments, like I just need to get through 30 minutes, etc.

Much support and peace. Hope you are finding more relief soon.