What do you do there? I used to work at a movie theatre when I was in high school, and for a little while after I graduated. (We're talking about the early 1980's though.....things have changed some....just a teensy bit) Haha!

I worked with the refreshments. At the time we were called candy-girls. We just happened to be all girls.......sorry.

I just want to find out what you do there first. How many people does your manager supervise? When you say you missed a week, is it a couple of evenings, or full-time?

Who is that in your profile photo, KimChick?

I work in a small chain of theaters that caters to those who love great movies. Films are prescreened before they show in my theatre and I do everything. Concessions are not a problem, they are complimentary, so the only job is to clean aster messy guests. But I clean in-between shows, work podium, work the full bar, kitchen... for food, box office and serve guests inside the theatre.

Most of the managers are like me, they rate college students and every manager looks over around 20 employees each shift. This manager is older and obese (may be a factor in her mood). But she picked me out and yelled at me in a minimum wage job.

I missed a little over a calendar week which is probably 4-6 shifts, but they are very well staffed and tell me that there is never a time that they will let themselves be understaffed. I am nervous to get fired and/or lose my free movie pass... :(

Careful there cowboy!! I know you're just trying to get to the bottom of your anxiety over your work situation, but you might be stepping in it when you imply that your manager is an old, obese, moody woman.

I'm not picking on you and I'm not an old, obese, moody woman. Ok, I'm an old, size 2, woman with a mood disorder. :)

For me, the very core of anxiety is a belief that I can't handle a situation, I'll fail, or I simply don't trust myself. I use a lot of positive self-talk to remind myself of similar situations in which I've been successful and times when I completely came through.

Mr. Baby and I have employees (we own a farm and I also have rental property). Don't assume that the theatre folks are upset. We know that, in addition to illness, life happens. We have invested a lot in training our employees and we value their work. When employees need time off we insist they take it.

Your manager sounds like a poor one. There is nothing to be gained by yelling at you. Believe me, your theatre patrons think much less of her for her inappropriate behavior than they do of you.

Be kind and not intimidated toward your manager and put your efforts into doing the best job you can!! Good luck on your return!

eek, i cant shrink your head, but i can feel for you. that sucks..

i have had shitty managers and walked out on plenty of jobs because of it.

there are two types of managers.. those happy in their job, leading by example, and respecting people, when it comes to setting expectations.. in private not in front of coworkers..

and then there are the asshole, anyone can fit this type of boss (looks i mean). generally on a power trip, dont care about the feelings of their subordinates. and being able to use their power to disrespect anyone and treat them like shit is a huge bonus in their shitty life.

good luck with whatever happens next.

I think that you missed where I was coming from, so I will clear it up.

She is older than a college student, which is the mean age of her colleagues.

She is a larger sized woman, and I say that as a psychology student because I know that weight can impact a persons mood in different ways from day to day and hour to hour.

Thank you BabyShelby, for your kind words.

oh weight can certainly change your moods, change the whole way you deal with the world. weight is big on the discrimination list and after enough looks or non-looks depending your size and where you came from, it can be a major let down.

i used to be a size 6, noticed everywhere, now a 14, never noticed, its like im invisible. sucks really, how weight can change everything, and i think im still pretty doesnt matter, could just as well wear a paper bag over my head. i still wouldnt take that out on others tho

she has deeper issues, no clue how to be a manager.

Are you looking for another job, or don't you even have time to do that, between this job and going to school? Or is health insurance a factor, too?

What are your options in how to deal with this manager? Is there a higher up member of management there, who you can complain to, if it comes to that?

What about Human Resources?

The first thing I'd do is start documenting everything that shouldn't happen, but does. REALLY detailed. Date, time, people present, the conversation that took place, etc. If she only singles YOU out for abuse, I'd include that, as well.

Depending on what this manager is like, there are a couple things that I would try.

First, I'd try killing her with kindness.
I'd smile and give her a cheery 'Hello' when I first saw her. I wouldn't go overboard kissing her ass, but I would LOOK for things to comment positively about. When she yelled at me in front of others, I would act as though there was nothing wrong with what she was doing and that I actually appreciated whatever she was saying to me. I would readily agree with whatever bullshit she said. If she said I had done something wrong, I would say, 'Oh! I didn't realize that. How do you want me to handle it?' or 'Okay, I'll start doing it that way from now on.' or whatever applies. Act as though nothing the least bit wrong had just taken place and that you just view her remarks as a proper part of her job.
If she ever should say anything the LEAST bit complimentary to you and/or how you performed a task, tell her 'Thanks. I really appreciate that.'

You don't know how many 'asshole' bosses and coworkers I won over by doing that. Don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I always felt sorry for crabby people and figured they're unhappy and I actually DID want to cheer them up. So the friendliness and kindness I showed them was genuine.

If that failed, I'd do the following.

If I thought there was a snowball's chance in Hell that it might work, I'd pick a time when nothing demanding is going on and tell her that I need to speak to her.
I'd tell her that I would much prefer that she speak to me privately if and when she has any criticisms or suggestions to make and then ask her is she is willing to do that.

If you don't want to try that, how about this?
As soon as you can get a word in when she starts to yell at you in front of people, say to her in a rather quiet, even voice, 'Could we please discuss this privately?"

I've actually done this very thing and it worked.
The manager didn't like it, but she didn't have to balls to continue discussing it in front of other people once I put her on the spot like that.
If your manager actually refuses to discuss it with you privately and keeps on yelling at you in front of others, like I say -- document, document, document!!!

And I'd KEEP requesting to speak about it privately, every time she did it.
If she doesn't like being asked that in front of everyone, she may stop publicly yelling at you in the first place.

As to " This manager is older and obese (may be a factor in her mood)." well, you can 'clear that up' all you want, but the fact that you found those two facts worthy of mention as to what might be going on tells as much about you and your attitude as it does about her. Perhaps she senses some of that.

And I say that as a former 4.0 Psyche major.

In fact, if you think you are qualified enough to analyze why she is like she is, then you should be qualified enough to know how to better deal with her.

As Clarice Starling said to Dr. Lecter, "You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see?"

You may gain more insight into your situation by doing that rather than thinking only of her mistreatment of you.

Oh!!! One more thing.

If you do decide to quit, pick the most inconvenient moment as you possibly can!!!! If you're most needed at a certain point in a busy shift, choose then to say, 'Why don't you go fuck yourself? You can take this job and shove it up your ass."

Or say it when she starts dressing you down in front of your coworkers.

Or even just quietly clock out and leave without letting anyone know that you're doing it!!! Let them figure it out for themselves!!

Are you looking for another job, or don't you even have time to do that, between this job and going to school? Or is health insurance a factor, too?

What are your options in how to deal with this manager? Is there a higher up member of management there, who you can complain to, if it comes to that?

What about Human Resources?

The first thing I'd do is start documenting everything that shouldn't happen, but does. REALLY detailed. Date, time, people present, the conversation that took place, etc. If she only singles YOU out for abuse, I'd include that, as well.

Depending on what this manager is like, there are a couple things that I would try.

First, I'd try killing her with kindness.
I'd smile and give her a cheery 'Hello' when I first saw her. I wouldn't go overboard kissing her ass, but I would LOOK for things to comment positively about. When she yelled at me in front of others, I would act as though there was nothing wrong with what she was doing and that I actually appreciated whatever she was saying to me. I would readily agree with whatever bullshit she said. If she said I had done something wrong, I would say, 'Oh! I didn't realize that. How do you want me to handle it?' or 'Okay, I'll start doing it that way from now on.' or whatever applies. Act as though nothing the least bit wrong had just taken place and that you just view her remarks as a proper part of her job.
If she ever should say anything the LEAST bit complimentary to you and/or how you performed a task, tell her 'Thanks. I really appreciate that.'

You don't know how many 'asshole' bosses and coworkers I won over by doing that. Don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I always felt sorry for crabby people and figured they're unhappy and I actually DID want to cheer them up. So the friendliness and kindness I showed them was genuine.

If that failed, I'd do the following.

If I thought there was a snowball's chance in Hell that it might work, I'd pick a time when nothing demanding is going on and tell her that I need to speak to her.
I'd tell her that I would much prefer that she speak to me privately if and when she has any criticisms or suggestions to make and then ask her is she is willing to do that.

If you don't want to try that, how about this?
As soon as you can get a word in when she starts to yell at you in front of people, say to her in a rather quiet, even voice, 'Could we please discuss this privately?"

I've actually done this very thing and it worked.
The manager didn't like it, but she didn't have to balls to continue discussing it in front of other people once I put her on the spot like that.
If your manager actually refuses to discuss it with you privately and keeps on yelling at you in front of others, like I say -- document, document, document!!!

And I'd KEEP requesting to speak about it privately, every time she did it.
If she doesn't like being asked that in front of everyone, she may stop publicly yelling at you in the first place.

As to " This manager is older and obese (may be a factor in her mood)." well, you can 'clear that up' all you want, but the fact that you found those two facts worthy of mention as to what might be going on tells as much about you and your attitude as it does about her. Perhaps she senses some of that.

And I say that as a former 4.0 Psyche major.

In fact, if you think you are qualified enough to analyze why she is like she is, then you should be qualified enough to know how to better deal with her.

As Clarice Starling said to Dr. Lecter, "You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see?"

You may gain more insight into your situation by doing that rather than thinking only of her mistreatment of you.

Oh!!! One more thing.

If you do decide to quit, pick the most inconvenient moment as you possibly can!!!! If you're most needed at a certain point in a busy shift, choose then to say, 'Why don't you go fuck yourself? You can take this job and shove it up your ass."

Or say it when she starts dressing you down in front of your coworkers.

Or even just quietly clock out and leave without letting anyone know that you're doing it!!! Let them figure it out for themselves!!

Are you looking for another job, or don't you even have time to do that, between this job and going to school? Or is health insurance a factor, too?

What are your options in how to deal with this manager? Is there a higher up member of management there, who you can complain to, if it comes to that?

What about Human Resources?

The first thing I'd do is start documenting everything that shouldn't happen, but does. REALLY detailed. Date, time, people present, the conversation that took place, etc. If she only singles YOU out for abuse, I'd include that, as well.

Depending on what this manager is like, there are a couple things that I would try.

First, I'd try killing her with kindness.
I'd smile and give her a cheery 'Hello' when I first saw her. I wouldn't go overboard kissing her ass, but I would LOOK for things to comment positively about. When she yelled at me in front of others, I would act as though there was nothing wrong with what she was doing and that I actually appreciated whatever she was saying to me. I would readily agree with whatever bullshit she said. If she said I had done something wrong, I would say, 'Oh! I didn't realize that. How do you want me to handle it?' or 'Okay, I'll start doing it that way from now on.' or whatever applies. Act as though nothing the least bit wrong had just taken place and that you just view her remarks as a proper part of her job.
If she ever should say anything the LEAST bit complimentary to you and/or how you performed a task, tell her 'Thanks. I really appreciate that.'

You don't know how many 'asshole' bosses and coworkers I won over by doing that. Don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I always felt sorry for crabby people and figured they're unhappy and I actually DID want to cheer them up. So the friendliness and kindness I showed them was genuine.

If that failed, I'd do the following.

If I thought there was a snowball's chance in Hell that it might work, I'd pick a time when nothing demanding is going on and tell her that I need to speak to her.
I'd tell her that I would much prefer that she speak to me privately if and when she has any criticisms or suggestions to make and then ask her is she is willing to do that.

If you don't want to try that, how about this?
As soon as you can get a word in when she starts to yell at you in front of people, say to her in a rather quiet, even voice, 'Could we please discuss this privately?"

I've actually done this very thing and it worked.
The manager didn't like it, but she didn't have to balls to continue discussing it in front of other people once I put her on the spot like that.
If your manager actually refuses to discuss it with you privately and keeps on yelling at you in front of others, like I say -- document, document, document!!!

And I'd KEEP requesting to speak about it privately, every time she did it.
If she doesn't like being asked that in front of everyone, she may stop publicly yelling at you in the first place.

As to " This manager is older and obese (may be a factor in her mood)." well, you can 'clear that up' all you want, but the fact that you found those two facts worthy of mention as to what might be going on tells as much about you and your attitude as it does about her. Perhaps she senses some of that.

And I say that as a former 4.0 Psyche major.

In fact, if you think you are qualified enough to analyze why she is like she is, then you should be qualified enough to know how to better deal with her.

As Clarice Starling said to Dr. Lecter, "You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see?"

You may gain more insight into your situation by doing that rather than thinking only of her mistreatment of you.

Oh!!! One more thing.

If you do decide to quit, pick the most inconvenient moment as you possibly can!!!! If you're most needed at a certain point in a busy shift, choose then to say, 'Why don't you go fuck yourself? You can take this job and shove it up your ass."

Or say it when she starts dressing you down in front of your coworkers.

Or even just quietly clock out and leave without letting anyone know that you're doing it!!! Let them figure it out for themselves!!

Are you looking for another job, or don't you even have time to do that, between this job and going to school? Or is health insurance a factor, too?

What are your options in how to deal with this manager? Is there a higher up member of management there, who you can complain to, if it comes to that?

What about Human Resources?

The first thing I'd do is start documenting everything that shouldn't happen, but does. REALLY detailed. Date, time, people present, the conversation that took place, etc. If she only singles YOU out for abuse, I'd include that, as well.

Depending on what this manager is like, there are a couple things that I would try.

First, I'd try killing her with kindness.
I'd smile and give her a cheery 'Hello' when I first saw her. I wouldn't go overboard kissing her ass, but I would LOOK for things to comment positively about. When she yelled at me in front of others, I would act as though there was nothing wrong with what she was doing and that I actually appreciated whatever she was saying to me. I would readily agree with whatever bullshit she said. If she said I had done something wrong, I would say, 'Oh! I didn't realize that. How do you want me to handle it?' or 'Okay, I'll start doing it that way from now on.' or whatever applies. Act as though nothing the least bit wrong had just taken place and that you just view her remarks as a proper part of her job.
If she ever should say anything the LEAST bit complimentary to you and/or how you performed a task, tell her 'Thanks. I really appreciate that.'

You don't know how many 'asshole' bosses and coworkers I won over by doing that. Don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I always felt sorry for crabby people and figured they're unhappy and I actually DID want to cheer them up. So the friendliness and kindness I showed them was genuine.

If that failed, I'd do the following.

If I thought there was a snowball's chance in Hell that it might work, I'd pick a time when nothing demanding is going on and tell her that I need to speak to her.
I'd tell her that I would much prefer that she speak to me privately if and when she has any criticisms or suggestions to make and then ask her is she is willing to do that.

If you don't want to try that, how about this?
As soon as you can get a word in when she starts to yell at you in front of people, say to her in a rather quiet, even voice, 'Could we please discuss this privately?"

I've actually done this very thing and it worked.
The manager didn't like it, but she didn't have to balls to continue discussing it in front of other people once I put her on the spot like that.
If your manager actually refuses to discuss it with you privately and keeps on yelling at you in front of others, like I say -- document, document, document!!!

And I'd KEEP requesting to speak about it privately, every time she did it.
If she doesn't like being asked that in front of everyone, she may stop publicly yelling at you in the first place.

As to " This manager is older and obese (may be a factor in her mood)." well, you can 'clear that up' all you want, but the fact that you found those two facts worthy of mention as to what might be going on tells as much about you and your attitude as it does about her. Perhaps she senses some of that.

And I say that as a former 4.0 Psyche major.

In fact, if you think you are qualified enough to analyze why she is like she is, then you should be qualified enough to know how to better deal with her.

As Clarice Starling said to Dr. Lecter, "You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see?"

You may gain more insight into your situation by doing that rather than thinking only of her mistreatment of you.

Oh!!! One more thing.

If you do decide to quit, pick the most inconvenient moment as you possibly can!!!! If you're most needed at a certain point in a busy shift, choose then to say, 'Why don't you go fuck yourself? You can take this job and shove it up your ass."

Or say it when she starts dressing you down in front of your coworkers.

Or even just quietly clock out and leave without letting anyone know that you're doing it!!! Let them figure it out for themselves!!

(((Psst -- Carla)))

You're repeating yourself again. :) No worries .... it happens to all of us.

Hope -- I hope your anxiety is improving!!

lmfao..

oh this is great...

Hey hope....the actress in my avatar pic is Greta Garbo. Must be an early one of her....she's actually smiling.

Well, it sounds like you want to keep your job even though the manager is rotten. Who knows....maybe she won't last there too long. You can't call off work because she's mean. If you're sick and have a rash, that's one thing....you have to learn to deal with negative and difficult people.

I like the idea of being sweet to her and smile when she asks you to do anything. Joke with her....compliment her on something...don't make it fake, though. Maybe she will begin to like you. If not, then she still can't say that YOU are being the negative one.

Somehow or another, you have to try to make working together as pleasant as you can. She's not going to do it, obviously. If you don't, this anxiety is going to get the best of you.

I wish you lots of luck!!

Wow!!! And the odd thing is, I only clicked ONCE!!!!
Usually it happens if I think something didn't 'take' and I try to send it again.
But this time, it did it all by itself!! Just kept spinning and spinning and spinning. I thought I was going to get booted off!

Well, in case you are implying that I am a shyster, BabyShelby, or in case anyone ELSE thinks so, let me assure you all that such is not the case!!!!

hope20z will only be charge the usual going rate of $1.00!!

Thank you for the wonderful comments. I think that I will do just fine going back into work on Friday. Still a little anxious, but I suppose that is a factor of my life at this point.

I am not trying to offend anyone. Especially with the obese comment. That was simply an observation on my part when analyzing her mood changes. In the beginning I met her and we hit it off in a way because we share the same sexuality (I am gay and she is a also gay).