Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been slowly weaning myself of meds. My doctor didn't know.
They have me on enough stuff to turn a race horse into a sloth!! The meds have made me feel like garbage for a long time. you guessed it - like a zombie. Colors are more grey. I feel like I dragging my feet through a deep mud. My inspiration, motivation, and creativity are gone with no signs of coming back.
My parents took notice and want me to check myself into an inpatient treatment facility. My response? Aahhh, no. My mom thinks I'm nervous about the whole "inpatient 24hr care" part but in reality, I'm more worry about the expense. I'm already in debt and more debt will just stress me out so I'm secretly taking myself off all meds.
Lithium, Depakote, Seraquel, and other stuff are all going away. I told my pdoc at my last appointment how terrible the meds are making me feel and that the only reason I haven't spoken up before is that I just though it was the price I had to pay for a little extra stability but it's not worth it anymore. I told her that I'd been missing some of my doses and she was VERY adamant that I go back to full everything (I'm gotten myself down to 2/3 of most stuff) and she agreed to reduce one medication down to 2/3....I already did that!!! I agreed to do as she ordered at the time (and meant it) but after I left, I changed my mind.
My hidden reductions have brought me a glimmer of inspiration. I've started to create things again but only in spurts. I've felt a little more impulsive but no serious depression (actually less depression than on the meds lol).
Any advice while I am coming down off all this junk? I'm hopeful that this will work out. There was a time I managed my condition without meds and I hope to return to that state again (difficult but possible).
Thanks
They have me on enough stuff to turn a race horse into a sloth!! The meds have made me feel like garbage for a long time. you guessed it - like a zombie. Colors are more grey. I feel like I dragging my feet through a deep mud. My inspiration, motivation, and creativity are gone with no signs of coming back.
My parents took notice and want me to check myself into an inpatient treatment facility. My response? Aahhh, no. My mom thinks I'm nervous about the whole "inpatient 24hr care" part but in reality, I'm more worry about the expense. I'm already in debt and more debt will just stress me out so I'm secretly taking myself off all meds.
Lithium, Depakote, Seraquel, and other stuff are all going away. I told my pdoc at my last appointment how terrible the meds are making me feel and that the only reason I haven't spoken up before is that I just though it was the price I had to pay for a little extra stability but it's not worth it anymore. I told her that I'd been missing some of my doses and she was VERY adamant that I go back to full everything (I'm gotten myself down to 2/3 of most stuff) and she agreed to reduce one medication down to 2/3....I already did that!!! I agreed to do as she ordered at the time (and meant it) but after I left, I changed my mind.
My hidden reductions have brought me a glimmer of inspiration. I've started to create things again but only in spurts. I've felt a little more impulsive but no serious depression (actually less depression than on the meds lol).
Any advice while I am coming down off all this junk? I'm hopeful that this will work out. There was a time I managed my condition without meds and I hope to return to that state again (difficult but possible).
Thanks
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
mommato2lilmonkeys
The meds that so many of us take are so powerful and dangerous -- I really think you should be honest with your pdoc as to what you've done going off of your meds (or at least that's the plan, right?). We're dealing with strong medications and interactions that even the docs don't know about. Sorry to be the nay-sayer but I really think you should follow your pdoc's orders. It's when we're feeling great that we want off of meds and it's because of the meds that we're feeling great. I'd think twice. I know the side-effects suck and can be debilitating at times, but stability has its price.
Why do your parents want you to go inpatient? Are you exhibiting signs they're picking up that suggest you need hospital care?
I hope you're okay. Be good to yourself.
Avoiding any potentially stressful situations (something that wasn't an option before) and trying to find new hobbies to keep myself occupied. I also have a dog now and that is basically like free therapy. We'll not really free. He's a Great Dane that eats more than 10 cups of food a day
"If you think you're doing well why do your parents think you need hospitalization??"
That is more an issue of seeing the side effects that my meds have had on me. They've wanted me to get off of them for a while (but *not* on my own) and thought hospitalization, detox, total re-evaluation with new doctors was the best course of action.
"For therapy to work, you need a strong, comfortable and honest connection with your therapist. If you don't have that, you won't get very far.:
My connection was very comfortable and honest but not strong. It was boring. She would ask how I was then basically just ask me if I wanted to talk about anything. At the very beginning, I told her my toughest struggles (including self injury) and told her the coping mechanisms I had tried and she basically said that's all the ones she new and googled stuff while I sat there. No thanks. I have access to google myself.
" Sorry to be the nay-sayer but I really think you should follow your pdoc's orders."
No need to be sorry about that!! Not all advice can be 'your plan sounds great' lol. I'm cool with constructive criticism.
" stability has its price"
Yeah, but sometimes the price is too high.
" Always work with your doctor."
I don't think I really like my doctor very much. No bedside manner. Not usually something I care too much about but she is too snippy and dismissive. She seems like she's in a hurry to get rid of me, get to her next patient...then get rid of them, too.
Once I got off my med or at least reduced them, I planned on finding a new doctor and coming up with a new plan. If I can control myself, I'd like to stay off meds. I hate meds. But I think you guys are probably right. I am probably being unrealistic. But I HAVE to find a combo that is better than this. It is killing me.
mommato2lilmonkeys
I think you have a good plan of finding a new doctor as soon as possible. Not everyone can see a doctor, I would if I could but I need to support a four person family on my income soo taking care of myself isn't that important with how my life is.
Just because I quit cold turkey and had those effects, this can happen if you start manipulating your meds without pdoc being involved, you can put yourself in danger
Be very very careful.