I think the answer is yes.

If you take out that "boredom", the hypersexuality, the over reaction when either depressed or elevatated, not doing destructive things etc it means that relationships have a much better chance.

the stats are pretty woeful...much higher divorce rate when one spouse has bipolar.

Doesn't mean bp's can't have great relationships- I mean, we all got born- evidently the genes have managed to get passed on, y'know ;)

helps not to burden partner (overly) with responsibility to 'make it better' or 'fix' you..best to take responsibility & use therapy/pdoc for venting etc That's just my 2 cents.

(& to be med compliant)

therapy can also be a great help .. we are all able to make positive changes... some help along the way surely cant hurt..,
cognitive therapy was very helpful for me.. I can still have my moments and illness at times.. (usually situational now).. but it made a great difference
I hope things improve for you

Actually while the net abounds with horrific stats re BP marriages when you try and follow the trail it sort of evapourates.

I have a reference that says that the BP break up is probably no worse than the rate where a partner is depressed.

I can find that ref if anyone wants.

A relationship is a joint venture. Plenty of non-BP people have troubles so it's not just us. Perhaps being easily hurt comes in part from having unrealistic expectations. But it's not just us.

Everyone at Beth Israel program (& others in that city) were bp1, btw. Not insignificant detail.

here is that reference

unfortunately it's a beast of a URL and I can't copy the text.

It's from "Psychological Treatment of Bipolar Disorder By Sheri L. Johnson, Robert L. Leahy" It says there have been a lot of studies on unipolar depression and marital functioning, but fewer on bipolar. It says "there is no evidence of divorce rates are higher with bipolar disorder than unipolar depression."

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=wvPHQSGaMNgC&pg=PA22&lpg=PA22&dq=bipolar+divorce+rate+studies&source=bl&ots=QpRLMEIWMC&sig=unbyRtfLFu0VSGgqE_ODmPY36VQ&hl=en&ei=fZJwSu7hD42hjAef_q2gBQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2

I said I had looked at the net reference on Bipolar marital breakdown and found it wanting, ie it was always based on some studies say..and then never giving a reference. I said I had found a reference which suggests it is a fallacy.

If you have other evidence that is fine. We can debate that.

However, your response was a personal attack. Its not the first. If you had done that to someone else I would have reported you. As it is, and as I once said before you seem to be achieving what no troll has done before, that is drive me out of threads and off the board.

To accuse me of Smug grandstanding is extremely rude and upsetting. You have absolutely no idea of why I say the things I say, what I know and what I have been through. Amazingly I dont feel I need to share all my life experiences on the board.

If other members find me to be as offensive as you find me, let me know and I will leave the board. I will not remain where I am not wanted

Both my husband and I are bp and it is very difficult but worth every minute of it. We both get bored and have horrible mood swings cause at this time neither of us are medicated. But even with medication it is not something the comes easily. The main thing is that you partner needs to be aware of your bp and perhaps you could enlighten him a little on the condition and hopefully he will be understanding as to why you do some things you do. You can't let this "Control" your life it is something that will never go away so you learn to live around it. Good luck... it is a very difficult process and I wish you the best of luck.

Hey Lou, dont you think you are being a little hard on Mark??? I think any of us can be interpretted wrong when speaking on the internet as our tone is not present. Your comments to him are close to abusive in nature compared to what he has said. Maybe putting him on ignore would help for a bit? xo

Being on the right meds, feeling better generally, being more stable, all those help YOU but it's also important to exercise basic relationship skills like good communication, appreciating your partner and showing it, honesty, and making sure the person knows you have a mood disorder but are handling it. My wife and I were talking last night about how bipolar (and other mood disorders, serious illnesses, and the like) weed out the weaklings in relationships. We've been together 16 years, another couple we know even longer, and it's because the spouse is supportive, willing to learn about the disorder, and strong enough to weather the storms that come with any long term illness. Unfortunately some people just aren't equipped to handle being a support person/involved with someone in our situation. This is very sad, but better to find out at the beginning of a relationship than after you've been together for a while and have joint property, children, etc. But that doesn't mean there aren't great people out there who are capable and willing to invest in a relationship, whatever that entails. So, the upshot, don't give up!

Oh so wanted to just stay the fuck out of this but gee then I wouldnt be me now would I.

Lou why is it that your opinion is to be accepted as rule here and Marks is not I mean there is not ever just two sides to every story there are at least 3 if there wasnt Jung and Freud would have been on the same side would they not of.

Seriously here. He wasn't being smug IMO

I am not taking sides I am not defending one friend against another

I am just saying that fuck lets tone it down a bit as both of you are entitled to your own opinion here the OP asked for opions there are other responses I don't see those being attacked so why is Marks. We are told to take the personal attacks private - gee I am guilty of not doing so sometimes we all are but in this case I think it truly needs to be

We all need to respect each other's opinions here, and if you have facts to support what you are saying, then that's even better. This isn't a "contest" to see who knows more than the other about all aspects of BP. Most here are just posting what they themselves have gone through, which is every bit as important as "statistics."

soleyunrequited: I don't know what to say except that I am usually the "rejector" in relationships. I push people away and shut them out so they don't get a chance to do it first, and because I know they can do "better" than me. I am the one who says "yes" to marriage, then no more than 2 weeks later I've cut off all contact with them. It's a horrible thing I do.