Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I have a list of grievances against my Bipolar that I thought I would air here in Town's square, so to speak, in hopes that perhaps I receive some input and feel less alone in them:
1) Clumsiness: Since beginning my medications I am literally walking into walls, dropping things, breaking things by accident, spilling food all over myself, spilling coffee everywhere in the morning. All of these things continue no matter how much caution and care I take in undertaking these basic tasks.
2) Insomnia: No matter how much Seroquel, Restoril and other sleep meds I throw at this illness, I am completely unable to sleep and if I do manage to slip into sleep it is for 2 hours at a time. Quite often I wake up feeling completely rested and look at the clock to find I have slept one or two hours and then I'm up for the night.
3) Appetite: When I'm depressed I eat and eat and eat, When I am mabic I eat and eat and eat. It's totally gross how much crap I am throwing into my body and despite being somewhat of a chef I can't find the energy to cook a proper meal.
4) Anxiety/Paranoia/Agoraphobia: I live in a constant state of irrational fear, leaving the house is a huge production for me. I do everything in my power to avoid having to leave and quite often I find myself canceling very important appointments which hamstrings me later.
Those closest to me are frustrated because they do not understand why I cannot do these basic tasks and see me as lazy or what have you.
5) Interests that wax and wane: Quite often many of the things I love to do most in this life I am unable to do for one reason or another and it drives me mad. Even playing a simple game on the computer that normally has me enthralled seems like too much work to even click on the icon to begin the game.
At any rate that is me in a nutshell lately and I am at my wit's end with all of it. These things are slowly destroying me and I feel helpless to stop them. I've brought them up with PDOC's etc and they seem to shrug them off. I think I either need new meds or I have no idea what.
Thanks for reading.
1) Clumsiness: Since beginning my medications I am literally walking into walls, dropping things, breaking things by accident, spilling food all over myself, spilling coffee everywhere in the morning. All of these things continue no matter how much caution and care I take in undertaking these basic tasks.
2) Insomnia: No matter how much Seroquel, Restoril and other sleep meds I throw at this illness, I am completely unable to sleep and if I do manage to slip into sleep it is for 2 hours at a time. Quite often I wake up feeling completely rested and look at the clock to find I have slept one or two hours and then I'm up for the night.
3) Appetite: When I'm depressed I eat and eat and eat, When I am mabic I eat and eat and eat. It's totally gross how much crap I am throwing into my body and despite being somewhat of a chef I can't find the energy to cook a proper meal.
4) Anxiety/Paranoia/Agoraphobia: I live in a constant state of irrational fear, leaving the house is a huge production for me. I do everything in my power to avoid having to leave and quite often I find myself canceling very important appointments which hamstrings me later.
Those closest to me are frustrated because they do not understand why I cannot do these basic tasks and see me as lazy or what have you.
5) Interests that wax and wane: Quite often many of the things I love to do most in this life I am unable to do for one reason or another and it drives me mad. Even playing a simple game on the computer that normally has me enthralled seems like too much work to even click on the icon to begin the game.
At any rate that is me in a nutshell lately and I am at my wit's end with all of it. These things are slowly destroying me and I feel helpless to stop them. I've brought them up with PDOC's etc and they seem to shrug them off. I think I either need new meds or I have no idea what.
Thanks for reading.
2) Insomnia: 4 AM my time... how do you like your coffee?
3) Appetite: I eat or starve for months and it doesn't seem to coincide with episodes.
4) Anxiety/Paranoia/Agoraphobia: I don't like to answer my phone. I don't like to leave the house. I am the worst passenger on the planet. and everyone hates me.
5) Interests that wax and wane: Same here... music no music, art no art, write no write...
Just keep, keeping on. Anyone for Soma?
between the clumsiness and tremors it is wonder how i make it thru the house without tripping over myself and trying to walk/lift a beverage without spilling, ugh.
lately i have been on a no eat thing. i actually have to remember to eat, even if i make dinner i don't eat, it just doesn't appeal to me. but if someone else makes it i will be able to down some.
i don't suffer from insomnia anymore since i began taking meds at night.
the only interest i have is coming on here and interacting with you all. i was really into facebook for a time but that has gone to the wayside.
i would talk to pdoc about changing meds. the insomnia itself has to be addressed, let alone the other things.
I wake up every 2 hrs. I will stay awake for 30minutes inbetween 2 hr intervals. my meds pervents me from going to kitchen,lol but am still gaining weight and eating less.
even when I get 1 hr of restful rest - will I still have dark circles under my eyes.
some days I appear like Ihavent slept at all when I had during the 2 hr naps during night.
Occassionally my inner clock trys to switch from morning shift to night shift but I assume that is 1 of many difrent phases in BP cycle.
Although I have internet friends around the world that I can chat w anytime of the day or night and that helps.
Your far from being alone on this one.
1. yes
2. yes
3. yes
4. yes
5. yes
A few minor diffs....I can't eat (food tastes like crap cuz of meds and now I never have enough "room".
And Seroquel XR "does" help me sleep....otherwise you're telling my story :-)
Ya know, we could probably all collaborate on a book and call it "The true Bipolar Archetype" This idea would fall under #5 above :-)