Being Bi-Polar is hard enough, but when my disorder is blamed for all my emotions,  I am treated like all my feelings are the result of bi-polar and just dismissed.. or worse, people will try to convince me I do not know how to feel in any situation, so I am always wrong, and simply dismissed.

My Son got married  a couple weeks ago, and at the reception my Husband and I were seated away from the honored tables and with the brides X co-workers, next to the D.J by the speakers, at the farthest right side table, with our backs to the couple about 4 tables away (note I suffer from migraines). Then we noticed my X Husband and his Family enjoy a honored table near the Groom, he has not even seen our Son in over 10 years, and 5 years prior, having no part in raising him. The Brides Mother has her own table with her Family and friends, next to them and the last honor table having my other Son, his wife, the bridesmaid and a few childhood friends.

I swear I did not intent tears to shoot from my eyes, but I got up to go in the bathroom, resisting the urge to leave, I tried to get the bridesmaid to help, nope, and a friend found my Son, and I saw my Son and his Brother the groom and his bride, She immediatly screamed at me telling me to just go sit down so they can be announced! I went back to find I was changed to one table over had a friend and my sister added, they were not happy with the situation, and felt the same as I, no one else is bi-polar, and we shared the pain, but it got worse...

The Mother of the bride stood and gave a long speech, thanked everyone including the dead, said great things about everyone, mentioned my X husband and his Family for comming so far, thanking them, and pleased to meet them, mentioned cancer survivors, introduced the sweet lady my Son donated stem cells to and saved, even her daughters cats, and left out my Husband and myself completely! not one word, she did not even look at us, nor acknowledge our presence. Then as the couple went around to everyone, the bride never came to us... nope she stayed at least 2 to 3 tables away at all times, as did her Mother. I had not met her Mother, and realised there was no interest in me, whew, was that my bi-polar disorder? and am I imagining being slighted, or was that the tone set for a relationship with the new Daughter in law? My Son thinks she likes me just fine? whats the matter? must be my bi-polar disorder? I have cried for weeks (that being bi-polar) as my depression spins to a serious low what do I do now? 

I can't stop crying, and springing tears at the thought, and already feel the quicksand of depression sucking me down, lower and lower, grab a stick or throw me a rope, I am sinking.

Thanks

ALM