AN INTERN AT A MENTAL HOSPITIAL IS BEING SHOWN AROUND ON HIS FIRST DAY BY THE RESIDENT. THE RESIDENT HAD BRAGGED ABOUT THE UNIQUE AND SUCCESSFUL METHOD OF REHAB THEY HAD FOR THE PATIENTS.

AT THE FIRST LOCKED ROOM THERE WAS A MAN WHO LOOKED LIKE HE WAS PLAYING INVISIBLE GOLF. HE MISSED THE PUTT AND STARTED RANTING AND SCREAMING. THE INTERN PANICKED AND RAN FOR THE STRAIGHT JACKET.

"NO NO NO" SAID THE RESIDENT "HE'S FINE. WE TOLD HIM IF HE ACTED LIKE 'TIGER WOODS' WE MIGHT LET HIM OUT OF HERE"

AT THE NEXT ROOM WAS A YOUNG MAN PLAYING INVISIBLE TENNIS WHEN HE MISSED A SHOT AND THREW THE RACKET DOWN AND STARTED SWEARING AND THROWING HIS ARMS AROUND IN THE AIR.

AGAIN THE INTERN PANICKED AND THE RESIDENT HAD TO TELL HIM "SEE WE TOLD THIS GUY IF HE ACTED LIKE 'JOHN MACENROE' HE MIGHT GET OUT OF HERE."

"OOOH" SAID THE INTERN, "I THINK I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?" THE INTERN ASKED POINTING TO THE GUY IN THE THIRD ROOM.

THE MAN WAS IN HIS ROOM LYING ON HIS COT DOING NOTHING BUT BALANCING AN ALMOND ON TOP OF HIS PENIS.

"OH HIM..." THE RESIDENT SAID, "HE'S JUST FU***NG NUTS, HE AINT NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE"

TIM