Did something specific happen that hurt you Dee?..
It's not something that bothers me usually but there can be moments..xoxo

I feel like a freak too. And I hate it.

I cant count how many times Ive been called a freak.

In high school kids would shout that at me from their cars as they drove passed me walking home.

I took it on and threw it back at them.

But I was also part of the whole goth/punk culture that is rather accustomed to this name calling so I had a lot of cultural support on my side.

Maybe, can you give us some context? I feel like I would have a better comment if I knew exactly what you mean.

((((((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))))) Dee...

yes, it is hurtful...i hate name calling

Most people deemed bi-polar or even depressed is because of outside pressures causing our nervous system to be disrupted. This of course has been deemed an illness but I adamantly disagree.
If you are in this world and you are thinking this place is all fine and dandy with no bad things; these are the ones in delusion and are blind and sick.....
For me, an outside pressure is what causes me to lash out. Like a carbonated soda bottle shaken way too much and the lid from the pressure must come off....When I pop however I never hurt anyone other than being deemed to be dysfunctionally thinking and looking for an escape without the means to do it....Trying to run or escape the things which are shaking me up.
For me it is dealing with deceptive people, people using me, or the evil that surrounds me.
A deemed "normal" person seems to not be affected by such and just run along in life like a computer program ignoring evils and even joining in, or pretending nothing is wrong when it is.
Be happy they labeled you "odd." Or a "freak." This means you are not fitting in this world like a puzzle piece.
It is usually abuses from others in some form or means that actually start our "twang" in the first place. Sex abuse, physical abuse, or mental abuse, very often from a spouse....These do not mind their evilness and even like it when we are bothered by it.
When they give you a label just smile!
Karma will get it's swing in.

I think of myself as eccentric rather than a freak. It makes me feel batter about myself. Many really smart people are/were eccentric.

For someone who live in the neighborhoods that I have or on the streets like I have being a "Freak" has on many occasions saved my skin. I've also learned to revel in the reputation of being a "Freak".

Dee, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way and hope you feel better soon.

The Wolf

I was in a specialty program in college and lived in a dorm with everyone else in the program. The brochure we got before we moved in had a blurb in it that said:

There are good freaks and there are bad freaks. Good freaks are fun and interesting, bad freaks are scary.

You're a good freak in my book, Dee!!!!

Yea, most of the time it sucks! I know - my thoughts, are meaner to me than another human or animal, DX, even family.... LOL, no one hurts me as bad as I hurt myself!!!!

But Dee my sweet friend, from one freak to another - once in awhile, it has Perks!!!!! Like our friendship and some funny stories : )

People that have tasted Hell- have more joy with the small things in life, this I wish for Both of us!!! ((((BIG HUG))))

THANK YOU ALL, i love you guyz so very much, dont think id still be here if it wasnt for you all.

I feel like a freak cuz of all the suicidal thoughts, i dont get them often but when i do....well i just hate it, does all sorts of things to my brain...

Its really helps to know i have you all.

dee

Big hug Sweet Dee!!
I hope you feel better soon.