It just goes to show that it's always something. I'm no stranger to depression and I've previously had thoughts of self-harm. The way I overcame that was/is by using Negative-Thought Stopping techniques (see link) and now that's no longer an option for me. After I set that to rest then everything got easier and I could focus on dealing with depression and other moods and finding positive outcomes. (Negative-Thought Stopping is the process of replacing a bothersome thought with something positive to take its place and the replacement thought eventually blocks out the negative thought.) You can use anything as a replacement thought. I used "that's stupid" when I thought of self-harm and it took dedication but eventually worked. I no longer think about self-harm. http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/positive-thinking-stopping-unwanted-thoughts

So for me getting rid of the negative thoughts was a big deal. I don't know of any tests that would show if you're depressed,
beyond outright asking you if you're depressed and thinking of self harm. Back in the day I had a psychiatrist who asked me if I thought about self-harm and I said of course, after all I'm mentally ill. He had me make a contract with him that I wouldn't go through with it and I said no problem. It's been 30 years since then and so far so good.

When I was first introduced to psychiatric medicine and psychiatrists and therapists I thought that all these people were dedicated to helping me but I found out that any good we as patients take from these relationships will pretty much have
to be due to our effort. That isn't to say that practicioners are worthless. Well, some of them are and it's important to
discover that and make the best decisions we can for ourselves.

I think that a lot of our well-being and happiness is due to our own efforts and I wish you well on your journey to wellness and happiness.

I think things are difficult to separate out when you are 14, life can be depressing without bipolar being involved.

Are you on meds? They may need a change now and that will prevent this from escalating and maybe teach your parents that some vigilance on their part could prevent "major inconveniences".

Good luck

Hi Knorloff. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

My own mood swings are still swinging. In my own case, I can go from Butterfly Betty to Atilla the Hun in the bat of an eye. I still wish I could wish it away, but I've been finding more happy moments since I just accepted my mood swings as part of who and what I am and shifted my focus to managing them instead of fighting them. Note the absence of *just* or *easy* in those sentences. There's nothing easy or justy about managing mood swings, but it is worth the effort in my book. It gets easier with practice. Still not easy, but easIER.

I don't know what you should do, either, but I hope to offer lots of gentle support while you figure it out for yourself. Welcome aboard.

Test positive for what?????? How terrible that your parents told you you were an “inconvenience”! Go to the dr. He or she can help. Please use this forum for support. It’s hekped so many of us to know we aren’t alone. Hugs and love to you.

I don't know if this is of much help but when I was fourteen my greatest help was books, I read 'what freud really said', 'feel the fear and do it anyway' 'i'm ok, you're ok.' and many more as well as 'the old man and the sea' and 'the pearl' and other classics. the trick is to take from these books what is useful to you and leave the rest. also try to write for 5 - 10 mins each morning even if you just start with 'the walls in this room are blue and the weather is ok today..' and go on from there. eventually you will find nuggets of information that will lead you to what might actually be bothering you at base level and then you can deal with it. is there any chance you can get a new pdoc. If your family are of no support can you create a support system outside of them with teachers, school cousellours, friends, aunts, uncles, etc. I had a couple of really good teachers and a good relationship with some friends' parents which saved my life at the time.
I also think there is a teen support group here on DS. I'm sorry I don't know how to provide the link but you'll find it under the list of support groups. but do come back here and post and let us know how you are getting on. it is not an easy road to travel but there is help for you. hugs. you are not alone.

Welcome Knorloff,

Managing depression can be difficult as you know....here's what I have learned about managing my illness since about 14.... You can be a passenger on your health bus or you can be the driver. If your parents are doing things t hat you honestly think are detrimental speak up pragmatically! I know depression throws us all a curve ball find a way to get some help that you can live with and be empowered by....good luck none of this is easy!

Welcome Knorloff...... I would tell your mom for sure in order to get some help sooner .... That way you may not have to go into the hospital..... If you don't like the therapist you have now sweetie.... I would let your mom know that you'd like another referral..... I've had to do that myself with doctors.... Big hug....xo