Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
One Stone
There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!What is the moral of this story?
Wait for it...Wait for it...
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
Here's another one...
After 20 years of sex in the dark, a wife finds out her husband always used a dildo on her!
She said "Explain the dildo dick!"
He said "Well explain the kids bitch!"
There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!What is the moral of this story?
Wait for it...Wait for it...
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
Here's another one...
After 20 years of sex in the dark, a wife finds out her husband always used a dildo on her!
She said "Explain the dildo dick!"
He said "Well explain the kids bitch!"
She encouraged me to share my bad joke but I'm still reluctant and it's going to cost me a few friends, I fear, but she said...well if they can't take a joke then why are they asking for bad one's?
So I've decided I would grow a pair of stones and kill as many birds as I can...or just grit 'n grip 'em...but I have to warn you...it's likely the worst of the bunch...it really is sooooo bad...and I'm such a BAAAAD MAAAAN for even repeating it. My apologies in advance for those offended.
A single father of two girls was attempting to lovingly explain to her eldest why her tummy hurt and she felt like strangling her little sister all of a sudden. He was trying to be as factual as possible but found the whole ordeal difficult and the questions kept coming.
Ok...so I get that I'm a becoming a woman now daddy and yes I understand I need to say no to the boys in school when they ask me over to study with them while their parents are away.
But why do only women have periods daddy? Exasperated with all this uncomfortable talk that he wasn't even sure he was handling correctly...he blurted the answer...so bad...so wrong...so much pain and truth in the answer.
Because, Punk'n Seed, they bloody well deserve it.
What do you do if your girlfriend is smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls to scratch!
The game of choice for frontline workers is football.
The game of choice for middle management is tennis.
The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
QUACK!
Anybody need an ark?
I noah guy.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Little old lady
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
He went!
Hear about the Chav who put on a condom after a Curry?
He didn't know whether he was coming or going!
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue!
Little Boy Blue Who?
The local Priest!
They can both stick their bills up their Ar$e!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a GoodYear, the other's a f**king Good Year! :)