Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
One Stone
There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!What is the moral of this story?
Wait for it...Wait for it...
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
Here's another one...
After 20 years of sex in the dark, a wife finds out her husband always used a dildo on her!
She said "Explain the dildo dick!"
He said "Well explain the kids bitch!"
There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!What is the moral of this story?
Wait for it...Wait for it...
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
Here's another one...
After 20 years of sex in the dark, a wife finds out her husband always used a dildo on her!
She said "Explain the dildo dick!"
He said "Well explain the kids bitch!"
Mine's more of a 'dumb' joke than a 'bad joke':
Once upon a time there was an island inhabited by little folks named Trids. Now these Trids lived separately from the rest of the world, surrounded by a moat and joined to civilization by just one, long bridge.
The Trids had to go for supplies Some time; but recently they had a Problem. Every time they would try to cross the bridge, a Troll would come up from underneath and kick them right off!!
They tried bribes, reasoning....nothing worked on the troll. Finally, they called their rabbi to intercede for them (didn't you know, Trids are Jewish?).
The rabbi went out on the bridge, assuming the troll would come out. Nothing Happened. The rabbi went back and forth across the bridge, twice, but no troll.
Curious, he went down to the edge of the moat, looked under the bridge and called out to the troll: Hey, Troll! I've been walking across your bridge - why didn't you come and kick me off?
And the troll replied, "Silly Rabbi - Kicks are for Trids!!"
Why did the sand blush? Because the see weed.
I wrote a song about a tortilla... Well, actually, its more of a wrap...
So a priest, a minister & a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "what is this, some kinda bad joke??"
This man goes to a shrink. He says, "Doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I keep on having dreams where I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm-" "Relax," the shrink interrupted. "I know what your problem is. You're two tents."
LOL - I'll stop : ) I do love Bad jokes!!!!
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, ''Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!''
She says ''That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine.''
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, ''Mom, mom, I-'' but the mother cuts him off and she says, ''I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine.''
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, ''Mom, mom, I-'' and the mother cuts him off and says, ''I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine.'' But then son says, ''No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, penis written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkboard, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find penis on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to find it again, but instead the chalkboard read: The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.
What do you call a dwarf eskimo with a hard-on?
A Frigid Midget With A Rigid Digit!
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
Here's mine
"I got my computer all set up and I got DSL because I wanted to be frustrated twice as fast as everybody else in the neighborhood.
(hey, I'm competitive like that!)
So, when I'd finally reached my limit I called tech support and the lady on the phone says to me "what server are you on?"
and I replied, "server? I'm not even online yet. Are you sure you know what you're doing"
"I did before you called."
"Ummm, how much is this call costing me?"
"2.50 a minute."
"2.50 a minute!?? Well in that case, what are you wearing?"
PART II
After she shook that that off she advised me to buy the Idiots Guide to Computers. So, I sallied forth to Ye Old Barnes N Nobles to buy it. I found the sales clerk and he lead me to the back of the store to an ENTIRE section of these things. And on the way we passed a Dummies section. So now I'm torn,(Am I'm an idiot or am I a dummy, I got no friggin clue) But I bought the book I needed, and didn't understand a thing it was trying to say.
Now as embarrasing as I is to buy an idiots guide, imagine having to RETURN it!
SO.. I walked up the counter put the book in front of the clerk and said "I'd like to return this please and he said, "You can't return books to Barnes N Nobles, what are you an idiot?"
I looked at the book woefully and said "apparently not."
A Dyslexic Hippie Commune!
Hear about the Cannibal who was stood up?
He ended up with the Cold Shoulder!
How do you spot a blind man in a Nudist Colony?
It's not hard!
Why did Bob Marley go to the Bank?
To open up a Joint Account!
Why did Jim Morrison go to the Doctor's?
To check his Acid Levels!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.
What's slimey and cold and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog's finger.
What's the difference in a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference in being hungry or horny?
Where you put the cucumber.