Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
another psychosis/hallucination post, it's obviously on my mind.
anyway.
because i am aware of them, think they're real, then rationalize myself to know that millions of spiders arent on me, and that dead men with faces falling off will not appear before me.
is this part of the mood disorder i wonder? something on the side ? i've had psychosis before but it was much more internal, more paranoid thoughts, delusions never so many hallucinations.
i heard that only people with psychotic depression have insight to their delusions. i know i am not displaying signs of hypo/mania or a mixed state rather insomnia/anxiety/aggitation and depression which always comes with my depressive episodes.
i want answers and i cant find any and im throwing ideas around and my mind wont shut the fuck up telling me that the cat that was stood outside my gate staring at me has cameras in his eyes and hes reporting back to some agency about me. that the walls have ears and i cant trust anyone.
i cant stop eating, its something that makes me feel connected to reality i feel like a fucking slug its ridiculous. im not hungry but the action of finding something, putting it in my mouth, chewing it, tasting it, perhaps im not even tasting im a bit robotic.
i usually dont eat depressed. but this time its a distraction from the anxiety and my thoughts.
i feel like i need to hold my head between my hands. to keep it still and stable and mine.
anyway.
because i am aware of them, think they're real, then rationalize myself to know that millions of spiders arent on me, and that dead men with faces falling off will not appear before me.
is this part of the mood disorder i wonder? something on the side ? i've had psychosis before but it was much more internal, more paranoid thoughts, delusions never so many hallucinations.
i heard that only people with psychotic depression have insight to their delusions. i know i am not displaying signs of hypo/mania or a mixed state rather insomnia/anxiety/aggitation and depression which always comes with my depressive episodes.
i want answers and i cant find any and im throwing ideas around and my mind wont shut the fuck up telling me that the cat that was stood outside my gate staring at me has cameras in his eyes and hes reporting back to some agency about me. that the walls have ears and i cant trust anyone.
i cant stop eating, its something that makes me feel connected to reality i feel like a fucking slug its ridiculous. im not hungry but the action of finding something, putting it in my mouth, chewing it, tasting it, perhaps im not even tasting im a bit robotic.
i usually dont eat depressed. but this time its a distraction from the anxiety and my thoughts.
i feel like i need to hold my head between my hands. to keep it still and stable and mine.
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
kat
just had a snowball thought,
am i deluded, to think this is what is happening when it isnt ?
even so i feel like a squirggggel .
i just wrote my recent posts down relating to mood disturbance/psychosis.
it worries me on paper. more real. my wrist aches, it hurt to write it all down in more than one way. x x
If you can get help.. do
This does not stop without meds.. it ebbs and flows.. but its still there without meds.. and even with meds.. symptoms may still be somewhat present.. you need some help tho.. no doubt about that..
Agitated and hallucinating is not a good mix.. weird shit comes from that.. and cats with camera eyes.. delusions.. hey can take their own form however they want.. seek meds.. its time.
are you taking meds?
I am incredibly nervous and anxious about it. When I went up to the surgery to arrange my appointment I had a panic attack.
They're all very cold and rude. I hate drs haha but I'm seeing one of the good ones so that's a relief. I'll keep you updated thanks guys x
It would be hard to edit everything down so if you end up with a large blocks of text - HIGHLIGHT using the word highlighter - the important bits. e.g the cat with camera eyes.
They will then see the bits that show there is a problem and they are convinced within 10 seconds that they need to pay attention
Was so anxious could barely talk but she did t read what I'd written she didn't need to said I was clearly agitated
I just explained the paranoia, the visions and what not I've been referred to the emergency team thing I'll be seeing them next week, now it's time to plan the big assessment ! Such effort
Oh got diazepam (valium) for the anxiety to take the edge off it's all they can prescribed benzos are quite strictly controlled thanks for the support everyone really helped me through. I think I'll
The strictness over the benzos may well help you - they won't be able to keep prescribing them to calm you down - that sort of forces them to do the proper asssessment and then the answer is likely to be a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic.
Thanks again hoping I may make another breakthrough in finally
Getting somewhere closer to a mentally healthy not mentally unhealthy
I didn't even see a psychiatrist I saw a general practitioner