i kind of think this generation is this way, because they were raised to behave this way.

they were given everything material, and nothing spiritual.

remember how, i think it was when i was in high school, in the early 200's when mom's started doing everything for themselves and became really selfish with the fake nails and tans and everything like that, there may have been some term for it. it began to take an extreme turn around that time when all the reality shows began and with "desperate housewives" and paris hilton and nicole richie...

anyway, ... they would just give the kids whatever gadgets and toys they wanted and leave them with a babysitter while they went to get a mani pedi and brunch and mamosas...just that kind of crap.

kids haven't had to work for anything, no wonder they are thankless.

and even if your or someone else's kid wasn't raised to be that way, it's just media and popular culture are so heavily saturated with it, it's kind of hard to shield them from the brainwashing.

*mimosas

I find it quite upsetting and that is why I am posting here.....don't have much more support out here......sigh

and i don't mean just a little preferential self treatment, but selfishness to the extreme kind of moms, with loads of shopping bags on each arm and the small little fucking dog in a baby carrier. that kind of disgusting crap.

i'm sorry. sounds rough.

i think you're doing the right thing. he should lose privileges left and right until he learns some worth ethic and respect.

Tats, I feel ya. My oldest son wasn't that bad but my daughter was a handful.

Just keep your ground!

I remember my daughter walking into wal-mart with $45.00 on her and stealing make-up! I was livid!! It didn't help that my fiance was a cop and it was one of our friends that had to break the bad news to us. She was with a friend and the friend's dad was a cop too. We all wanted to kill them!!

This wasn't my daughter's first at stealing; she had confessed to me that she had done it before. I told her if she ever stole again I would pack up everything she owns AND I MEAN EVERYTHING and give it to Goodwill.

So when she was caught with her friend this time, I packed up everything she owned. She only had school supplies, some street clothes, that I chose and her school clothes.! It broke my heart to pack up all of her stuff that I bought! But, I stuck to my word. She never stole again.

Mean what you say and say what you mean. They are going to rebel no matter what it's just the age. My daughter used to say I was ruining her life. I told her it was ok because I knew a good therapist.

It levels off at 17, hang in there Tats.

I am not a mom to a teen, but I am a big sister to one. Since our mother passed I have been the one raising him, and taking care of him. He has always been a straight A student, well this years he failed 3 of his classes. he is going to have to summer school. I had to hire a tutor to help him out, and its so stressful!!!! I just don't know how to help him and I don't know where to draw the line. I'm his sister, so its hard to act like his mother at times.

They drive you crazy mad insane ....they grow up....they leave ...you miss them until you are heart sick........

It's true

I'm just totally disgusted and fed up with the bullshit and there ALWAYS being something ya know? I know in life there is always something but damn I could use a break for a while....and his father isn't in the picture in any way shape or form and hasn't been since my son was around the age of 5, half the problem there.........I'm praying this therapy really helps him. I need someone on my side ya know....and someone from the outside who can look in and give us good feedback.

I work with teenagers all day at work & I look after my niece & nephew who are teenagers. The one thing I have always found important is firm boundaries, support & encouragement. This way they know what is expected of them & if they don't pull their socks up or rebel there is consequences.

He never asked to be born. That was your life choice. You spin the wheel and roll the dice and let the devil take the road. My son at three or so poured powder on the bathroom floor. When I asked him why he said. Because that is my job. Ergo my job was to wipe it up. That is the reality of being a parent. A thankless task but, with respect YOU CHOSE IT. I did likewise and my son has Dispraxia, ASpergers, et al and I am the parent ipso facto MY RESPONSIBILITY.

(((Tats))))~~

Way back 15 years ago when you held that little bundle of joy did you ever imagine it would be like it is today??? I'm sorry you're struggling.

Sword hit the nail on the head as far as parenting teens. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do not EVER back down on a consequence and be more than willing to do whatever is necessary at the moment to teach your child.

We had very limited tv, limited computer and absolutely no video games in our house. We did other stuff as a family -- skiing, raising pigs, etc. They started chores at age 3 -- those were chores they had to do just for the privilege of living with us. There were other chores they did for tv or computer time. They had to earn it. Then there were chores and projects they could do for $$.

Having a door on their rooms for privacy was a privilege and it was lost more than once.

I guess what I'm saying, Tats, is your expectation for your son has to be reasonable and clear. Your household needs to be pretty strict because any gray area can lead to trouble at this point.

Does your son have a Big Brother through the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program? This might be something helpful. My son-in-law is a Big Brother as he grew up without a dad. He takes his Little Brother out fishing, to ball games, or they watch movies, play video games or hang out at the mall.

Sounds like his summer is nice and structured. Hopefully he gets a lot out of summer school, the volunteer opportunity and counseling.

Hang in there!! We're with you!

Ladies, it sounds like none of you were teenagers! LMAO!!!!

Let me remind you about being 15.... It sucks, your parents are the enemy, you do not want to hear the words NO - how dare they? Mean adults! Teenagers swear they will not trust anyone over 30!

15 You don't have a license or a car, you KNOW everything!!!! Everything is about me, my friends, my interest - every chores is a pain in the ass.....

Only in my 20's did I realize the crap I said, the running away, the skipping school, the disrespect - as a teenager, not one of my bad choices had my parents, or consquences in my thoughts. EVERYTHING was what I wanted to do!!!

PS - all that therapy I was made to go to? Waste of time and money, it was just a hassle and a kiss ass thing...

LOL, just a friendly reminder : )

no no no i love teenagers and think they are hilarious.

and not in a condescending way, i think they're great..
i was even, extremely rebellious and wild and i had a great time doing that- i don't think all the fun and freedoms should be taken away.

i just don't agree with some of the values or lack thereof that are applied in all kinds of areas in this day and age.

sure, they should be young and wild and crazy, i'm so grateful i got away with all the things i did, still... it can spiral out of control and they need boundaries and to be held accountable for certain things.

you can be mischievous and still kind to the person who provides for you, and kind.. in general.