I hope you can allow yourself to cry. It's perfectly healthy and good to do that. You're not less of anything if you need to cry. It's a vulnerable thing so I understand if you feel like doing it only in private.
I feel like you judge yourself sometimes. I hope you can embrace who you are (a wonderful person) and let yourself be who you are.
Peace Pagan!
M

I relate very much to the emotional intensity and lability you describe. My whole life up until the last 6-12 mos I could not cry even when I desperately wanted to. I can't say that I know the reason 100%, but for me, I think it has something to do with losing control and being vulnerable. Neither is ok for me. It may be different for you.

The other thing that I have heard is that certain meds, like abilify, can affect a person's ability to express emotions like that. I think it's highly individual, but I can't help but think it might contribute to a situation like this.

I'm very sorry that you're struggling with this, I know it can be frustrating and defeating. I hope that you get some kind of relief soon.

big hugs for you, my friend.

Pagan, I think my meds have me numbed out and what Sadie said about the feeling out of control thing. I won't allow myself to cry for fear I'll never stop and I can't afford to breakdown atm. It's so bizarre to be this sad and then...nothing comes out. It sucks to feel and it sucks not to I guess. HUGS!!

Pagan there is nothing wrong with a man crying. I love men who are afraid to cry. I mean you guys are human too why shouldnt you be able to realease emotion when you need to? I believe that if my dad would have shed some freakin emotion at least once in his life then he wouldnt always be so close to goin off on everhyone all the time. If you feel sad you dont worry about what anyone thiks you cry. I mean hey at least you dont cry while watching Disney movies like I do lol. Hugs Pagan.

I felt like crying on Saturday night when I was talking on Skype about not having a job and money burning a hole in my pocket. Codependency was the root cause of my inability to save for the future because at home I was the one that had to carry the can for both my Gran and my Brother.

I hate it when a woman cries because my Gran used crying as a weapon to get her way and extract pathos. Because I'm the 'fixer' (in terms of codependent relationships) I'm the one who offers crying women a tissue.

I don't know what to do at times.

hey Pagan... I am sorry you are really struggling with this.... I know society says it is weak of men to cry.... but that's unhealthy if you ask me.... we all have emotions and crying is a perfectly healthy one regardless of our gender.... yes it makes us feel vulnerable but like Mark says.... we can do it in private so no one can see that vulnerability... altho it might be a hard thing to feel ourselves

I don't know what meds you are on but I know abilify hinders me in my ability to cry... it's a bitch at times bcs I know I need to

maybe try and work out what is going on for you at this moment in time that you are resisting.... I know you say you don't know so that may be quite dumb of me to say..... do you have certain things that are prone to make you cry? like certain songs? certain movies?

I know sometimes I am fearful of crying bcs I fear I will not be able to stop.. and then I don't know if it will change into rage or something and that puts the fear of God into me.. so I don't want the process to start in the first place... don't know if it is anything like that for you too?

I hope you can find some peace my friend

(((hugs))) x

Aw Pagan. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. Sometimes, for me, just going w/my emotions helps a lot. Cry if you feel like it, punch a pillow if you need to. Just get it out of your system. We have strong emotions, we can't always hide or stifle them.
Go w/the flow....you are loved here...it's all ok.

Thanks all for your kind and thoughtful comments, it really does help.

Good! So....you wanna play fetch? Do wolves fetch?

I can see why crying could be difficult for men. The two main men in my life, my dad and my husband, have both cried in my presence. Big hugs x

Just to be clear, I mean I can understand that culture allows men and boys a smaller range of emotional expression. When I see an adult shaming a boy for crying, I want to smack them I'm so angry. Take care my friend.

And what ruby said about meds, too.

(last post)

I may be a woman, but I WISH I COULD cry. I very rarely do. It is bad.

Let it out Pagan, just let it out. It does make you feel better getting it out.

Hugs Pagan Spirit. Its okay to want to cry. Our society puts way too much emphasis on men not showing their emotions, looking strong. Realize feelings are part of everyone, both sexes,