I was diagnosed as Bipolar II in October, while suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. My whole life I have had periods where I felt way better than anyone has the right to feel, and during those spells I was very productive and able to handle any task with relative ease. The long periods that follow were not to bad, I could function, while not at the high level I expect of myself, most people were unaware of my down time. This spring and summer it all changed for me. The gap between the highs and lows stayed the same, but the curve just shifted to the down side. I was very sad (depressed) through the summer, and had several episodes where I planned how I would end my life. This scared me enough to seek help. First from my rheumatologist ( I have rheumatoid arthritis) but I did not tell here the whole story I just said that I have been very sad. She prescribed trazsadone for me. I had a regular check up with my primary care doctor and I told him everything. He said if I ever had those type thoughts I was to call him. Several week later, I found myself again wanting the cease to be so I called him. He was on vacation for a week so I called my rheumatologist and she got me in the next day.. I told her my full story this time and she in creased my trazodone dose and told my to get in touch with a mental health doctor. I got and apt. with a psychologist that was highly recommended and she is seeing me weekly since early October. I am now on trazadon (100mg) and Lexapro (20 mg) I am better, but still not great I can not watch any news or I get very down, and I have to schedule things to keep my busy, I can not let myself just think, or it gets crazy. I am seeing now how my hypomanic periods were hard on the people around me while there seemed to by no down side for me. This has been very embarrassing for me, I am the type that if someone I knew told my they had the problems that have brought me so far down I would have told them to suck it up and get on with there life. Now I know better.