Tomorrow makes a year that my estranged father has passed. It’s also the day, my former co-worker and friend and family say their final goodbyes along with another family saying a final goodbye to a former classmate from high school. So many goodbyes each one impacted me differently to say the lease. Unlike my estranged father’s former girlfriend who has turned Facebook as an outlet for sharing her depression and grief; I’ve chosen a different route, I have to live for me, because the minute you stop living you become overwhelmed with guilt and numb. I have no guilt because the choices (he) made were his own and applies to her too. I celebrated the life of a little boy turning 1. I’ve watched this person grow from infancy to now a toddler. It’s remarkable to see the personality and intellect form. Morals and values instilled into him from spirituality to kindness. I wish I was a child again to know the innocence that everyone is good and nothing is bad unless you make it bad. Instead, I get ridiculed for not dating/ engaging with single men or dating again. Dating is exhausting all around. It seems as though anytime, I decide to take an Uber the driver strikes up a conversation. Uber conversations are unpredictable and exercised with caution. Idk why they happen they just do. One day! I’ll meet an awesome guy  and we’ll be best friends and enjoy each other. But for now, it’s wearing appropriate kid-friendly clothes while teaching my kiddos and focusing on my returning back to school after six months.