Big hug for you Tracey...... I to am very sorry for your loss....... Losing my mom was a massive loss for me as well

You are grief stricken sweetie so the anger and numbness are all a part of it..... This has just happened and very raw right now... Even if we know something is coming it's still a shock to the system in some ways

There are stages to grief that we can go through and they can be different for different people

A grief support group in real life might be a really good support for you.... I'm hugging you......xo

Stages of Grief

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

Anger and confusion are very definitely stages (or emotions) that we all go through. Our emotions can be triggered by events in the process, and cremation is a very significant event.

Do let people know that you are not OK, but that you are working on it.

I just lost my mom on March 14th. She lost her battle with cancer. She too was also cremated. Let me tell you I was completely numb at times and I was a sobbing mess the next moment. The day of my mom's funeral, which was the 28th I was terrified. I had a panic attack getting ready for the services, and when I got to the chapel I had set things up for the services and let me tell you if I didn't have my best friend I would have had a complete breakdown. I saw my mom's urn and literally started shaking. It's a reality check. I completely understand about wanting to be left alone and sometkmes when people keeping telling you they so sorry for your loss you just wanna scream. I got to the point where I turned off my phone and just let my self be numb for while. Everything you are feeling is normal. If you need to talk please don't be afraid to reach out. I could also use someone to talk to. My prayers to you and your family.

I lost my Mom (a mother of 4) when I was 37. I was married at 46 and now I've just lost my husband too, the most recent loss, in Jan. Makes me wonder how many losses our souls are built for. We are resilient, yet everyone may respond a little differently. I remember seeing on CNN ( I think it was real) the Filipino woman who just had her entire family swept away by the hurricane. She was finding her children one by one. She was stunned and numb-- not really crying much. Anyway, God is close to the brokenhearted. The most comforting words I have right now.