Nine...Im speechless. I barely have any strength to deal with one.

Yes, the simplest things like breathing seems to be such a chore for me these days.

I greatly appreciate this. Thank you.

Hi.
Sorry for your loss. Noone should have to go through this pain. I often feel like i cant deal with the pain and other emotions that come up. Sometimes its not as much about being strong and moving on as it is about being gentle with yourself, letting yourself grieve and feel the loss and accept that its okay to feel aweful and its okay to feel like you want to give up.
Have you tried any form of therapy or counselling? I used hypnotherapy and eftt and i still feel the pain but it helped me function most of the time, and reduced the hopelessness and fear i felt before.
Take it easy,
Love and peace x

Sometimes I get good days and them bad days. Then I have the awful ones when I cant get out of bed.

Already looking into counselling. After a month of her being gone, I realized that I wont be able to do this on my own. In the past, Ive always had my mom to give me strength, guide me and assure me that everything will work out.

Now, theres just one big blackhole.

Appreciate your message. Thank you.

CH, I lost my mom when I was 37. She was 72. It is a horrible thing to endure. I remember always dreaming that she was still alive. Once I dreamt her foot was coming out of the ground under a tree at the house where I grew up. When she died I know I had cortisol filling my calves-heaviness and soreness from my knees to my ankles. But my sister I believe had much more severe loneliness following her loss since she lived with her. That sister ended up dying in a physically similar way as my mother. So the lesson is to please take care of yourself so that sorrow is unable to destroy your health. Your mother would want you well. I know how strange and hard it feels to move your body phsically forward, I.e. to take steps when they can't anymore. May God bless you.

I send my condolences as I lost my mom as well in March from Cancer. I understand where you're coming from and truth be told we have to be strong or we can fall to depression and things can end badly. Knowing my mom she would want me to finish where she left off and to live my life. I'm a Christian so I do believe we're going to be reunited again and I also feel her watching over me and helping me through my toughest days.

My advice to you is to hold your head high. Cherish your mom memories and cry when you need to. Think about the times you had it hard or any thought and think about what your mom would say to you. Please be strong I know it's hard. I barely sleep anymore but I keep going.

Thanks Vwidow and forever yoursunshine.

Ive always been a goal oriented person, I focus and put my mind into the things I want to achieve. Right now, I can only muster the strength to survive the day. Never imagined she'd be gone this soon I was totally unprepared for it even if she was sick for a month after her attack.

As everyone advised, baby steps. Im trying really hard. This forum is a great channel to connect with people who truly understands the pain of losing someone. I know that people around me are getting exhausted with the crying and the pining. They mean well, but they have their own lives to lead.

I hope, one day, I get there too. I just miss her so much.

Big hug for you Calvin..... I am so very sorry for your loss..... My mom was the person I was closest to as well ... It's been a few years now since I've lost my parents and it still really hurts at times

What I have found is that the initial devastating grief does lift over time as we work through it.... It truly is a process even though that can sound rather callous .... However over time I have been able to celebrate her and what a remarkable woman that she was that eventually you will be able to celebrate your mom as well

It's good that you're venting and letting the grief out.... It wasn't long ago that you've lost your mom... A support group in RL may be a really good source of support

Another hug and a blessing.....xo

Thanks for the hug SuncloudJD.

You know that feeling when you walk into a room and everyone goes quiet and just bow their heads trying not to stare? I get that often now. I came back to work (after two months of being gone) and I know people mean well, but I just cant seem to go back to my old routine. I walk around zombielike, trying to put up an illusion of being a functioning adult.

I honestly dont know how to answer "how are you doing".

My heart is in a thousand broken pieces.

You can get through this Calvin and learn to manage. I say learn to "manage" because we will never be able to move on or get over it, but we can learn to manage to the point we can live our life and built memories before our departure. It's hard on me everyday and I just break down sometimes but afterwards I feel better. I know it's normal and nothing wrong with me, overall I did lose my Mother and that goes for everybody who been through what we been through. At this point I just look forward to not only making myself proud but also my Mother proud. I want her work as a Mother to pay off in a good way and that's to live and do right. You can always message me or you can even e-mail me, just ask. ((hugs))

Hi Calvin,

My deepest and sincerest condolences. I can totally relate. My late, great Mom was my best friend of my entire life since day 1 of my life. I lost her very suddenly after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. We lost her less than 2 months after she was diagnosed.

It is a long story, but I have never been the same since. Yet, I honestly feel that she and my late great Dad (lost him 22 years ago to a blood clot after surgery for lung cancer) are always with me, are always praying to God and asking Him to please help me. I have had several things happen that I feel certain they prayed to God and asked Him to let happen. While I miss them every second and still cry about them not being here a LOT, I try to remind myself of the great times we had together and what they would want me to do and how they would want me to deal with this tremendous loss. They tried to let me know every once in awhile that one day they would not be here anymore. Yet, I never, ever imagined it would happen as soon as it did. I could go on and on...

I am so sorry and please know I am here for you, as we all are and we are all here for each other.

Thanks Paiste7....

Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier with time. I am yet to feel that. Less than 2 months after she passed, things just gets more difficult.

I feel like the more time pass the more Im stepping away from her. I dont know if that makes sense. I just dont want her gone :(

Mother's day was exceptionally harder - this year was the first time in all my life that Ive celebrated the without her.

I keep trying. I just keep failing.

I too have lost my Mom very suddenly and the pain is undescribeable each and every day. It has been three months. It is so difficult to face each day, hour, minute, second. I just can not believe she is gone. My mom was truly such a beautiful person inside and out. It has been such a struggle. I am lost for words.

Hi drcjmc, thank you for sharing. Its such a struggle losing people that we love. Its exactly 2 months since I lost her. There isnt a second that I dont think about her. Everything reminds me of her. No matter how I try to throw myself at work or keep myself busy with everything and anything, nothing will ever make things right again. The pain is truly unbearable.

But. One thing that keeps me going, makes me wake up in the morning is the thought that she'd want me to hang tough and slowly try to put myself back together. No matter how difficult. She's the strongest person that I know. And having someone like her in my corner (wherever she is now) comforts me somehow.

I miss her so much. And I love her deeply, I hope she'd gone knowing that I would have done anything to save her.

Anything, just to have her back.

I am so sorry! My dad died unexpectedly several years ago, and he was only 55. It's difficult to explain what it feels like to lose a parent. He was my anchor, and I thought he would be around for a long time. I used to wonder why such a great dad had to be taken away and how much of my life he has missed out on. It's so sad and totally sucks, but I have continued on with my life. All I can suggest is talking, sharing, and crying when you feel the need. I went to counseling and that did help. Sorry!

Thank you. Greatly appreciate all the kind words of support Ive been receiving.

I am looking into counselling and possibly joining a local grief group. Because waking up not crying should be a good start.

Some day. One day. A

Thanks Bella14