Hello Thinks. Welcome to DS. Unfortunately, this particular forum doesn't seem to work too well. It is a slow moving forum with very few stable participants. However, DS is a big site with quite a few other, more active forums for other flavors of support. I hope you'll take the time to surf around and see if any of the other forums can help.

I lost my son (35) and his wife in a car accident less than 4 months ago. Second trimester? I inherited their 3 young children on that fateful day. Girl howdy, I'm a basket case. Ouch upon yeowch! ! !

I am stepping small, praying big and working ^it^ out one heartache at a time. I am wishing for an accountabilibuddy on this crazy ride with. Just wishing. . . It's a hard ride.

Hello t-RA-s,

Your son is the joy of your heart forever, and this is an everlasting motherly love that brings you here to this support site for others to lift your spirit and help to calm your emotions - expect for your nerves to be on fire because this is a high pain to endure. Yet you will make it through with caring support. Please keep well in body and spirit. This support site will help you to find safe coping skills to overcome the heartache. For this reason, I welcome you.

There are many postings to review here at this bereavement group; you need only scroll through them, many are inspirational to your own circumstances; I hope for your peace and understanding; we have seen acceptable and unacceptable death and we need to share our stories so that others will not feel alone.

And it is true that not many are active in this group, and not that this is a place of timely daily posts. For the most part, here in the Bereavement Support Community are usually those solemn thoughts of few words, and people are indeed reading, yet not replying very often, likely until each is comfortable enough to write out the sounds of their own grief; however, the replies to the group are carefully sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of others and we each understand your heartache at this point of such a troubling time, and which I am truly sorry that your son has passed on at such a young age. Of course, this is hard news. Our children are beloved, each has a special place in the family, and we expect to outlive them. I pray for you to be strong and steady, and I pray for your son to be full of a soothing soul and that he enjoys the peace of his rest with the Lord.

I will leave you this link and the information found here is to better help you understand how to navigate DS support communities:

https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us

Much love and many hugs. God be with you.

Thank you both for your kind words and for responding.
Arfie- sorry for your loss. I'm sure taking care of the children is bittersweet.
Remiah- you have a way with words and are very comforting -thank you.

Just muddling my way through life these days. It's better than the very beginning but I think of him many times through out the day and night and even good memories still make me cry.

...you are so very welcome :-)

It can be very difficult to let go of emotions; to cry is good, and even the littlest memories will set you off to tears. I am really glad that you made the choice to join DS; it is a comfort zone for frustrations. Bless you, so very much. Please stay active here at this support network. We care to know how you are getting on. Moods are a very difficult thing to manage on your own; you will please allow others to help you during the low spells. I hope so.

Hugs to you. You are a good mother and your son will always arrange that you should know this when you need it; his spirit lives and we are so thankful for it.

Big hug for you thinks..... I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that you're in.... A RL bereavement group for parents who have lost children might help you work through your grief.... Another hug and a blessing.....xo

I am so sorry about your son. Do you have family and friends to help you through this? Either way I always advise getting some sort of counseling through a therapist (assuming you have the insurance or funds) or a support group. Also see your regular doctor. You may benefit from an antidepressant. I recently joined a Griefshare group. Google it. Its offered through churches all over the country (US). They only charge for a workbook and you can probably borrow one when you get there. Its also worth looking through all the book listings on that big on-line bookstore. There are many dozens to choose from. No, a book by itself will not get you through this. But some good ones will help you get started. Its a tough road but the only way to come to terms with it and have some amount of peace in your life is to go through the pain. Posting here and reading the replies will help a little but its not enough. God bless.

I am so sorry for your loss. I too am new to the forum so I am going to imagine holding your hand and walking with you in our shared grief. I can still remember every detail of the day my son was born. I know that I will not get over his loss . I will try and learn how to keep going with this hole in my heart. Take care

Thank you all for your kindness and support.
My husband is very deep in grief as well but we try to support one another,
I have 2 other children and we don't let on to them how bad we're doing because they get worried and upset.
All my other family members have already passed- hope they have my son with them.
I do go to a group counseling 1 x per month specifically for parents, grandparents & siblings.
I haven't found a one on one therapist.
As far as I'm concerned if they haven't lost a child they have no idea what I'm going through and can't help me.
Hope I can offer support to others here as well.

Please give the counselors a chance. Its true that grief journey is unique but there are many feelings that are common to most of us. In group meetings you get to tell your story and hear those of others. But once a month is not very often. After my mom died on hospice I went to meetings twice a month, and I went to private counseling. There are also some good books on the grieving process. Search that big on line bookstore. Some are specifically about the loss of a child. Some are more faith based, other more psychological. And I would suggest you go ahead and confide in your other two kids (assuming they are old enough). It helps when the whole family pulls together. I would bet your kids want to be there for you. God bless.

my grief group only meets 1 x per month.
Can't find a counselor I would click with.
I have online group that meets nightly and I have read soooooo many books.
Toying with the idea to write my own.
I can't confide in my adult children- the reaction I got was that I worried them terribly and I don't want them to live in fear.
I've been out of work for 5 months. What I need to do is get a job but I'm scared.
I know I have too much time on my hands and do nothing but think about my sons sudden death and how sad I am. However the brain fog makes me think I can't learn new procedures and I've lost my self confidence.

You might check out Griefshare.org . Its offered through many churches. You can search by zip code. Its non-denominational. Its a 13 week course that meets weekly for 1.5 to 2 hours.
Whats the story on this nightly group? Is it something you put together or is it a discussion board like DS?

Scott,

The nightly online grief chat is put on by thecompassionatefriends.org. Specifically for loss of a child only.
It is for parents, grandparents and siblings,
It's a great organization and they are who I do my monthly in person grief group with. They are global.
I'll check out griefshare-thanks!

I see. I lost my dad in November and its been pretty rough. I joined Griefshare and I'm seeing a counselor.

I do hope you feel better. Your idea to write a book is not bad. It may be a healing process for you.