I lost my fiancee Stephen August 27, 2009. There was a post it is all over now and that describes my life. In fact I was gonna title this my life is over. I said that when Stephen first died and everyone said oh no that's not true but it is. They also said it would get better and for some reason said good things would come my way as if Karma would make it all up to me but that is not true. There will be no more men. I have seen it so many time. Women who get divorced and never date again and move back home. Not that anyone could replace Stephen but we used to do so much that I will never do again like play in the ocean and go to the mountains or even just watching TV together. Even if I do something with others I wish he were with me. I have to go to weddings and people are having lives and I am all alone even in a room of people. They expect me to be happy for them but how can I be when it is just a reminder of how lousy my life is. It doesn't help that my luck is terrible. I had a bad 6 months where every week something bad happened. my cat went blind, car problems, job. People told me it would get better but it just gets worse and I could live to be 90. I go through the motions. I laways had a garden and still do but because people expect it of me. I don't watch our TV shows any more because it is too sad. People say it is a beautiful day but I don't notice. I am just existing and it gets harder not better. now I have women friends and all they do is call so they can talk in my ear for hours. I cry a lot because I never thought I would end up this way. No one really cares I lost my best friend. Will it ever get better?

QP