you have every right to mourn an unborn child. Every parent that loses a child due to miscarriage or still birth gets to so why shouldn't you. Just because the circumstances were different doesn't make the grieving any different. Give your child a name if it comforts you. You lost two people at one time, they both were important to you.

I think you have right to morn the lost of your unborn child.

Thank you... and I'm sorry. I'm not sure this is even appropriate for this group. This is so different from everyone else who posts here...

But thank you for at least giving me some validation.

of course you have a right to mourn your unborn son.He would have been your child.

Forget what others may say or think. Just grieve for him in your own way that you feel the most comfortable with.

Of course you have the right to mourn the loss of your unborn child. By all means give the child a name and call him by it. You lost so very much in one accident. Do not let others dictate how you mourn. Our baby died in my arms in September and I can not even begin to say what that has done to me. I got to hold him and love him. We both did and our older son so we have something to visualize you have to create a visual for yourself. Do that. Put a face with his name a younger you or a baby picture of you and your wife and create him. We all mourn in a different way, Please do not let anyone stop you from feeling that loss. It is very real and you need to do this for your own sanity. God bless.

First I want to say, thank you for bringing this up. Years ago I lost a Sister-in-law to complications in her pregnancy. She had a massive heart attack, That took her and her baby. If I ask my nephew now to list his siblings he always adds "and the boy mom was having". He is 40 now, but at the time of her passing he was 5. I my self have a daughter and 5 misscarriages. I know that the love for a baby starts as soon as you know you are pregnant. So the loss is just as real. My first was three and a half months along. I painted a picture of what I thought the child of me and my husband had made would look like. At the time of his passing, he could not keep his eyes off that painting, stared for hours at it. I am pretty sure he was feeling that child reaching for his hand. I picture my husband now surrounded by children that were not here, but waiting there...
Angeleyes92 is right, You lost two souls that day, both losses are valid.

Thank you, everyone. jewells1, thank you so much for sharing that with me. This is the first time in 3 years and 5 months that I feel like someone understands! Just the fact that I have nothing - no photos, no memories, nothing. Just the memory of how excited we were when we found out we were going to have another baby. Perhaps I will take photos of us and go to one of those websites that tell you how your children would look. I know it's probably not that accurate, but it would give me something tangible...

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and child! How devestating to lose your family in an instant along with all your dreams for your future together. I guess people don't know how to handle death very well, they don't know what to say, doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. It is human to mourn. Just because you didn't get to know your unborn child doesn't mean you don't love him/her. God bless you.

Visualize this child in your mind. Say to this child that you love them and say a prayer or something positive to your vision of the child.

Tell this child that they are welcome in your heart.

Release this child to God or your Higher Power.

I have had to do this. Before my son, there was another pregnancy that lithium terminated back in 2001. I once saw a card with a little angel on it that was a little girl with brown/red hair. I feel that this card might have been what my 2001 child might have looked like.

I'm sorry, I meant the picture on the card of the little girl.

I am recovering from klonapin withdrawl. The doctor put me back on it.

:-/

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a blessing that you have this forum to
bring up thoughts and be in a safe placeto realease your sorrow..
You have lost your wife and a beautiful baby, I know all of us feel your pain.
Take the time to feel your grief, then you will move forward to live your life again,
May the Lord Bless you and keep you,
Sandra.

I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know if this will help you at all, but here's the story. My mom nearly died from an ectopic pregnancy when she was in her mid 30's. For whatever reason, she always thought he was going to be a boy and named him Harrison. 30 years later she was admitted into hospice and one day she was having a really rough day coming to terms with dying. She was on my back porch crying. It took her 2 days to tell me, but she said that while she was out there, a young man holding a basketball came up to her and told her not to worry. I should have recorded her story on tape, but it was something like "mom, I'm Harrison. Don't worry, I'll come back when it's time. But it's not time now." And then he was gone. She was so excited to have finally seen him that she would cry when talking about it. Over the next 2 years, she would occasionally have dreams of him. I like to think he was there holding her hand with my sister and me as she died. So, know that your son had a soul and knows you are his dad. Peace to you.

You have ever right to mourn your son. I lost my child at almost two months. I to this day wonder nine years later what my life would be with that child. I see others with kids that age and wonder. you have every right to mourn that and you need to. I was only two months pregnant and I think about when it would have been due ect. you need to. It doesnt matter it was 12 weeks it was a child you made and dont think you dont have the right.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter at 19wks pregnant. It has helped to reach out to people on this forum. I've also joined the miscarriage group here and I think there are other groups for infant loss on DS and online. You have every right to mourn your unborn child. Wishing you peace...

my name is vader.I am 65 years old and old enough to be your grandmother.Let me say this...you have got every right to mourn your child even if you have never met him ir her.Please do not listen to these insensive people.SOme of them just talk and they just do not understand grief.You lost 2 people like the lady said who were very important to you and it you want to grieve go head...remember it is yur business.Vader.