I am so sorry, I too am facing a father's day for the first time since mine passed away. But I am a bit lucky in that my father passed away the month after fathers day, so I have had more time to process his passing.

I am also old enough to be your father. This is what I would leave for my daughter, let me share it with you.

I am your father, and as such I had a life before you. I expect you to have a life after me. During my life before you I had no idea that I would have a daughter, but I am proud of you and the woman you have become.

Please don't forget me, but don't dwell on me. You have so many wonderful qualities; please keep them up! Sing, dance, have friends, allow the happy part of your soul to chart a course for you.

You may meet older men who have dad like qualities that you admire. Please feel free to get to know them. It is possible that they have lost a child and yearn to be a part, no matter how small, of the life of a person as wonderful as you.

I believe in an after life. So please, as the only "after I am gone" promise I ask you to make, have a long and wonderful life. You can tell me all about it when it is your time to cross over.


Back to the here and now. My plan is to get a father's day care for my dad. I will, with difficulty, write him a note. I plan to mail it to him c/o God in heaven. Not sure how the post office will manage it, but that is their problem!

Gentle hugs, and please, always keep a vision of the future you somewhere in your mind!

If you think your father can't hear your sing then think again. I drowned once and saw what awaits us on the other side. I did not recognize all of those witnessing the event from the other side but some I did they were members of my family. I was a single parent and given the chance to return and raise my daughters as they had no one but me their father fit to do so I chose to return and raise them to the best of my ability. They are grown now with families of their own but I am still thanked often for staying and raising them.

My father recently passed after many horrible throat surgeries to remove cancer from many years tobacco abuse. He suffered near three years with surgery after surgery. When I found him in the horror movie like state of his death caused by his cancer I was extremely sorrowful for some days but gradually I came to understand that it was a good thing for him. No more suffering and he now starts another chapter in his life with others like himself and family near. Our family and friends do not want us to sorrow over their parting they would rather us rejoice as they begin their new lives. They expect us to do good things in the world where just a song or a few kind words can go so far. Its hard now but if you had witnessed what I did you would see things in a different light.

You are blessed to have a voice I was attacked when I was not looking by some gang banger I did not know and beat near to death with a pipe or club like weapon. My larynx was shattered and had the ambulance not been there pronto and done an emergency tracheotomy on me I would not have survived. The surgeons did a good job of putting a titanium part in my throat to help me breath and my normal talking voice returned but I lost my singing voice and all the little voices I had for the girls when they were growing up.

Sing with those that need you to for those of us that cant and be happy for those who are watching. Time passing will make things easier if it is your wish for it to be so.

I am very sorry about the loss of your father. I believe you should continue to sing with the hope and belief that your father can still hear your beautiful voice. I talk to my departed wife (from this world) in the hope that she can hear my voice. Lots of times my logical mind says I am only talking to myself but I have to hope. What else do we have to hold onto with this regarding our lost loved ones. Sing and make your DAD proud whatever dimension he is in.R.

I feel ya. Maybe he IS here, drops in, to hear it, in spirit! Sing gloriously, to the heavens, where he's looking down, smiling!

Reading this post brought me to tears. This will be my second Father's day without my dad. The first one was tough, but I was still kind of in shock from his death and little bit numb, so I didn't feel nearly as sad as I do now. The father's day commercials, ads and cards are the worst. It's like you already feel terrible that you no longer have a dad, but if feels like the world is throwing it in your face.

Your dad admired your beautiful singing, and I'm sure he would hate for you to abandon such a wonderful gift. But I understand. Since my dad passed, I don't feel like doing much of anything. Everyone tells me this will pass, but all the people who tell me this have not yet lost their fathers. Keep singing if it's what made you happy.

I just lost my fiance, who, despite physical challenges, earned his masters degree in music education. He became too sick to use his gift fully, however, he always tried to encourage that gift in others. I used to sing, but I stopped because it was time to be an adult. In the last few weeks of his life, my fiance was increasingly encouraging of my talents. I'd sing him to sleep sometimes. We're granted gifts we don't always understand. If singing makes you happy, and makes you feel closer, keep it going. After my fiance's funeral, I sang some songs at home and it was really cathartic. I'm so sorry for your loss.

firebird, have you considered volunteering somewhere like veteran home to entertain maybe just once a month?

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Yes I too struggle with father's day when it comes up. The commercials and the gifts at the store make me sad and are too much at times. It's been three years since my father passed and it's still very difficult for me. I'm just now starting to deal with some of the grief. I also wish god would let me talk to my dad. But I have to have faith that he is with my other family members in heaven and I will be reunited with him. But I think pepper man is right. We have to live the life they helped create and make it as happy as we can. My father wanted that for me, I'm sure yours did too. Think of all the wonderful memories you have and feel the love for your father. I'm sure he is with you and watching over you. Blessings to you.

I am sorry to learn of your loss and I am sorry it is so hard for you to use your gift now. What the others have said already , I can only ditto that.
I know we all grieve our own ways and we can't tell you how to do it. But knowing your father loved you , I am sure he would tell you to keep using your voice to sing , if he could , that is what he'd want ...
After losing my Mother, father and now , husband, I have spent plenty of time feeling guilty for being the one to live, or to enjoy things. It is not logical , but grief rarely is.
But my loved ones , I believe are in heaven and I do not believe they have anything left of our mortal emotions and worries, jealousy, , or things like that.

I feel that by doing what you and your Dad enjoyed together, is to actually keep his memory alive.
I hope you can , and will continue to do so , when you are feeling strong enough. It should ease your grief, and help you want to put one foot in front of the other.
some day, eventually , you will feel happiness again. A little joy or smile , here & there....until one day you notice it's been an hour (or a day ) since you felt profound sorrow.

Bless you.....hang in there.

I am so sorry. I can definitely relate. My father passed in March, and this will be my first Father's Day without him. I too am hating all the commercials, etc. I would like to just skip past Sunday.
I can relate to you so much. My dad also came to every choir concert and performance. He was always asking me to sing for him, but most of the time I was too shy or embarrassed (I didn't like being put on the spot, but on a stage was a different story. Weird, I know). I wish I would have sang for him all the time. A few weeks ago, I sat on my bed with my iPod and sang my heart out for 3 hours. I hope he could hear me this time. Hang in there. I know this weekend is going to be tough. Sending hugs :)