Bereavement Support Group

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Hate life

pieper
pieper

Having a really hard time, lost my husband in 2012 to cancer. I had a really good close friend that Brian and I had known for a long time. Tim and I worked together, we would email and text each all the time. After Brian past Tim told me he had feelings for me, and I realized I did too. So we have been seeing each and just recently he was staying with me and eventually going to move in here. On December 8th we believe he had a major blood clot in the morning while I was with him and he died. This person was definitely my soul mate,best friend, everything to me and I know he felt the same way. I'm having a difficult time not having him here to the point I want to commit suicide. I have 3 adult kids and 4 grkids. My pain is so great that I just want to end it. Just want to be with him. Don't know how much longer I can hold on.

emptynow
emptynow
We have to keep going for our children's sake. Years ago,I had severe depression and three suicide attempts. I am glad I didnt go through with it,even now. Everyone says it will get better . Right now I can't believe that it will get anything but worse. It helps to look forward instead of back. I am rambling but just hang in and vent here.
Hugs.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Huge hug for you pieper ... This time of year is particularly hard as it's so much about being with family
Please reach out for help sweetie... I know that you're hurting terribly but suicide isn't the answer... It would devastate your children and grandchildren and then it also becomes acceptable to them as a way to deal with pain
Call a crisis centre or go to emerg if you need to.... There is good help....Here is my hand.....xo
HopeIMissU
HopeIMissU
I am so sorry for your losses and cannot imagine how you are feeling, but having been suicidal myself really really bad I had to think about my kids and how it would affect them. I thought about suicide 24/7, but I am still here and I plead with you to hang on and find support and love in your kids and grandkids. HUGS
gregsbaby
gregsbaby
I have been in your shoes. Think of how your family would feel without you. They'd ask why you did it over and over again. Call your local crisis center, if you really feel like you're going to harm yourself go to the ER. The suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8555. Sending big hugs!
pieper
pieper
I know it would be extremely painful for my kids. The pain of losing Tim is so great, I know in time it won't feel like someone cut my heart out with a knife.
thecrackeddishb
thecrackeddishb
Please try to hold on short periods of time then move forward slowly. So very sorry for your pain.
koolman
koolman
Love is like a river. It keeps on flowing, just takes new forms. Rejoice in the fact that you loved and were loved. And keep on loving. God may implant a dear new man to love who will love you into your life very shortly. He's good at filling gaps like this.
pieper
pieper
Like the way you put that Koolman. Thank you.
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