I am sorry for your loss. I had trouble going back to work right after my husband died. I used up my leave and the bereavement leave - which was only a week. I was a mess and spent a lot of time weeping in the ladies room. Finally, I received donated leave so I could take additional time off and be with my sons who also were having a hard time. I wonder if you could take a leave of absence instead? The other thing that helped me was getting grief counseling through an Employee Assistance Program - I received it for free that way, and my older son did as well. My younger son was still in school and received his via the school psychologist and his guidance counselor.

Coping with work life and health issues is always a challenge, but even more so after the loss of your spouse/partner. I am sorry you are going through this.

I am one of the Community Leaders ("CL") for the Widows & Widowers group here at DS. I invite you to come and join us for additional support and ideas. You will find us at:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Widows-Widowers/support-group

Don't give up - you can get through this.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Yes, I have had trouble going back to my "normal" life, when none of it seems to have any meaning anymore, and life as I knew it has come to a screeching halt..

It's great that you're a certified nurse assistant and will have no trouble finding work when you're ready! Hope you've got some money saved to give yourself some quiet down-time. Take care of yourself!

My depression, lack of concentration, lack of empathy for coworkers and such pushed me to leaving my job and I never went back.

Hi Rhonda,

I'm not sure who you lost in your family? but I recently lost my mum who is my best friend, my pop who was my last living grandparent, my childhood dog and my father was in a life threatening random accident all in a few months. I work as a therapist and while I returned to work part time two weeks after my mum died I would up experiencing panic and developed an unhealthy stress response. I'm still reeling and literally quit my job yesterday when I returned from annual leave.
I couldn't do it either, and I just think that ultimately 'we don't have to!'.

I'm having so much trouble returning to the norm, and I think that's because everything has changed because my mum was so foundational to my life, my soul, and well.. me! She is still a part of me but it just affects everything because I can't just 'put my grief aside and do my job' because I wind up in tears at the end of the day or feel extremely uptight and anxious at the start.

It's just tough, and we need to make each moment count - cut ourselves some slack - not over think it and allow ourselves to mourn.

Feel free to send me an email if you'd like to chat more. I shared my story because I feel that I can relate to you.

Some of my passion and enthusiasm lacked...life has been hard after each significant loss...one thing I learned & try to practice regularly that one little thing is a positive...

Wishing you well & peace in all area's of your life.

Hi Rhonda, I think you might suffer from depression. I want you to know that it's okay to take a break from your job and maybe you could start enjoying things until you feel better. One day at a time. Take all the time you need, hugs

Shortly after my brother died, there was a SURGE of work, in my wedding video business, which was good because I needed to be busy to take my mind off his loss (maybe that was my brother who was "sending" me some business, as if to say "don't worry about me--get busy!"). I found it very hard to enjoy weddings, and I despised people at weddings for behaving so cavalierly, drinking too much, tied up in their petty drama squabbles, self-absorbed, and not respecting the fragility of life.

Then the wedding business tanked when the whole economy went belly-up in '08, so I had to get a second job.

I picked security officer, because it seemed like a quiet way to make a few bucks while quietly working through the grieving process, and it seemed the only employer willing to be flexible around my sporadic free-lance hours.. After telling my employer I wanted to work evenings, they didn't have much in the evenings but said they did have overnights available. I did that, and I felt like I too was in the grave. The hours were long and bone-dry lonely.

I'm solely on evenings now, and evenings are anything but quiet, so my grieving process hasn't been a linear journey. But after 8pm, when it's quiet, I have much time to think, reflect. I make "family legacy" videos every year, compiling, editing together old footage of family with my brother in it when he was alive. It's been soothing and therapeutic. It places "things" in perspective.

He passed away January 31, 2007. I'm up to 2002 now in the family movie archiving project, and I'm beginning to see him exhibit symptoms, burping, acid reflux, of the tumor in his colon that would ultimately take his life. At that time, none of us knew what was causing those symptoms; we assumed, as he did, that they were ulcer or upper-GI-related. NOW we know. If only we knew then. We could've gotten him the proper treatment, when his cancer was only stage 2 or 3. Hindsight's always 20/20.

Upsetting and disturbing though this footage may be, I feel it's important to watch from time to time, because these moments were all part of his life's journey, and I never want to forget.

Anyhow, this has helped me in my grieving process.

This is an individual move and you must do what YOU need - nobody can advise. Maybe a peaceful small holiday would be what your soul needs? ((SOFT HUGS))