Bereavement Support Group
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I want to pass along some wisdom that was imparted on me by my father shortly before his passing.He was concerned about my mother being talked in to spending too much money on his funeral expenses after he passed.Here is what I have come to realize where arrangements go.Uunderstand that a funeral home sales person is not your friend.The place is a business that is trying to make money and they want you to spend as much money as they can bilk out of you.The funeral director we dealt with told us b.s about how we would need alot of death certificates to send to different government offices etc.The reality is most places will take copies so one or two originals should be pleanty.Also when purchasing the casket buy what you can afford and no more.My dad was a career Marine and the funeral director wanted to sell us this patriotic casket with a removable cheesy eagle that the director explained to me I could give to someone.Of course it was considerably more then another casket we had in mind and as I said the eagle ceramic was chessy looking low quality etc,and had no ties to my father whatsoever.The final tacky moment was when the director told me he wanted to set me up with someone who was going to sell me some additional funeral plots because according to the director again you never know??If this sounds cold or calloused I do not necessarily internd for it to. I loved and cared for my dad as much as a son could and I share this with whomever reads this as food for thought and to be forewarned and forearmed,My dad did not like to see anyone get cheated or taken advantage of so I share this to continue to honor him, peace.
deleted_user
I am sorry to hear about your fathers passing. I went through a similar issue with the sales man when my mother passed away last November. Thank God my dad was with us or I would have tried to sell that guy the London Bridge (if you know what I'm saying). I cannot understand how someone could ever be able to do a job like that because I know I would never be able to do that to anyone. I would tell each family to pick what they like and what they feel is appropriate for their loved one. I would also have asked if their loved one had any specific requests or other arrangements set up prior to their passing before I would do anything. Some people just have a sick knack for selling stuff that way, and it is not the best way to do business.
deleted_user
To all my hugs and prayers. When my husband passed unexpectly the synagoge and funeral home were compassinate and careing. no one pressured me into anything. The plots were purchesed and the funeral director asked me what I wanted. Being Jewish there is very little latitude. a plain box, I had someone stay with Les the entire time according to burial traditions. We did not need the cemetery people because we completely fill in the grave. I have heard stories of funeral people taking advantage of people at such a terrible time. thank goodness not all are like that.
deleted_user
I had a similar experience. Our funeral director made our honorary pall bearers cry as well as the ladies who made the lunch. I was so angry but couldn't speak to the funeral home owner without loosing my cool, so I said nothing. I agree forewarned is forearmed.
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