Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I lost my partner and BF , we were together for just 1 year he loved me so much and he died from aggressive cancer 2 months ago spending just 3 weeks in hospital. Needless to say that i was every day with him, his family hadn't told him or me that he was dying so you can imagine what a traumatic experience was for me. He was only 36 yo, same age as me.
Dealing with this tragedy in itself is quite enough to last me a lifetime, but dealing with the people who are dealing with my grief is like trying to communicate with something from another universe. It would be very interesting to see, if I took the time to really research it, at what point in our history grieving the loss of someone you loved became taboo. I strongly recall in "Gone with the Wind", Scarlett was greatly put out because she was expected to wear black and grieve for a year.
The people who I would expect to know me best, love me most, and support me no matter what have been, by far, the worst. My family and my friends were very supportive in the beggining but now they look at me as if I've grown two heads and have a tail. I can literally see their faces pale and their eyes roll when I mention his name. I can read it on their faces, "Oh no, here he goes again."
My own mother, who has been very supportive to speak the truth, now tells me to stop using my grief as an excuse to avoid reality and get over it. Get over it. Like all I lost was something as simple as losing a spare car key. Oh well no big deal. You can fall in love again some day. You are young; you will have other chances. You should be happy for him: he is in a better place now. We can never understand God's plan. Etc, and blah, blah
I was always kinda of a depressive person and after this incident things re way worse, I visit my psychiatrist take anti anxiety and antidepressants but the thing is I am lost in my mind.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
From my observation, it is easy for others to be supportive when they are feeling the loss too; it is still easy when they can identify with the loss. But when that identity goes, the sympathy can also go.
2 months sounds like a very short time for people to expect you to get over it. I've never lost somebody close after only knowing them for a year or so, but even still, there are all the "first year things" that we have to deal with. This can be especially hard if it was somebody you were planning on spending a long time with.
On the flip side, I have learned something about getting support from others. We all have a level of support we want, and a level of support we need. But each person we know has a level of support they are able to give.
These levels of support can be dependent on so many things. Some we can control, others we can not.
The trick to getting support from our family and friends is to figure out how much support they are able/willing to give. Then we need to work within that limit. It is tempting to say that if they are not able to give what we need then we don't want anything from them.
This is counterproductive.
Figure out their limits and try to work within that.
But I agree, it is sad that your family is not being there for you. Please keep coming here and venting as much as you need!
Gentle hugs
I hope that you are able to find the support you need.
Scarlet was put out because she never loved Charles or frank Kennedy. The grief from true love does not have a time frame.
I've found it helpful to tell others what my needs are. I'm 34 and lost my husband this past spring. Thank god no one is telling me to move on, I would go off on them. Some people don't talk about him because they think it will upset me others protect me from reality thinking I can't handle it. For me talking about him really helps.It boils down to everyone is emotionally stunted when it come to grieving, it makes them uncomfortable, they want normal.
Check out the widow/widowers board great support group for the loss of a partner
Hugs, Laurie
Is there a FTF grief support group where you live? Sounds like you need support from some ppl who understand you can't get past grief on a schedule.
This is a good place. You are welcome here.
Grief support groups can be really helpful... Your psychiatrist may be able to refer you to a group
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a couple of wonderful books on grieving and the stages that we can go through.... Another hug and a blessing.....xo