I am so very sorry to read what you're going through hrhr..... I have never gone through this with a life partner but I did my father's palliative care at home and it was so hard at the end
Knowing that this is the kindest thing you can do for him is a gift you can give him.... If you have a faith perhaps calling a leader in that faith can help you to get through this painful time
I am hugging you..... xo

I'm not scared for me. I'm scared that I'm doing the right thing. I cared for my mom six years after a stroke. When hospice was called and it was moms time, I knew it was the right thing.
With this situation everyday I hear something different from doctors. Some say he has no chance then others say his vitals are good let's wait and see.
I know they are all doing there best but each day I walk in ICU I get a different opinion. Just a horrible situation for me but I'm trying to be Mom too for the kids. I'm overwhelmed. I pray. It helps. But I am so torn. We've made decisions together for 30 years and now it's my call. I know my heart will tell me when it's time. I pray for strength and the ability to help sustain the children and grandchildren. Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry. I wish I had a perfect answer or a magic wand but I don't. I believe you may have the answer in your last reply. Listen to your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

If the doctors are not agreeing I would find that VERY troubling.... They should know what is going on and be in agreement if his lungs are not functioning
I would discuss this with ICU and tell them what you've written here.... Gentle hug and a blessing.... xo

You could go to administration (you can start with the head nurse of the ICU) and tell them that getting different opinions from different doctors is tearing you apart. You want to meet with them all, and you wan them to at least lay out why they have different opinions. Tell them you need them to talk to each other, and try to lay out an opinion set that includes all their points of view so you can make the hardest decision of your life knowing that the doctors have been honest with you.

Tell them that this may be a daily thing for them, but for you it is your husband, and it is a once in a lifetime deal, and you need to make the best decisions you can. And you can't do that if they are giving you contradicting information.

Gentle hugs

Thank you. I have spoken with the head doctor. He is going to meet with everyone and me. I need to talk to them all together. Thanks for your words. They helped me be strong and ask for what I need.
How did we get here? It must be the question for so many families. But it is one that we can't answer. We are here. We must do this. May it be well with my soul.

soo terrible.. i am mourning my mom everyday....

Please, when you are ready, let us know how it goes. So many people fight the 'dueling doctors' problem; having your experience to draw upon will help a lot of others.

Continuing hugs

letting go is the hardest thing in the world i try to look at photos they help but i never lost a spouse but i would think he would want you to be brave,strong and comforting especially for him as well he is going on a journey that is unknown and he will probably embrace that journey knowing your strong

We have all met and we have decided that it is time to let him go. I am ok in my soul but my heart is literally breaking. I have seen three deaths. My father from cancer just went one day while in the hospital. My brother from leukemia in the hospital after an aggressive chemo treatment. My mother last year with hospice at home after a stroke. I am not afraid of what it is or what it will be like, I've seen it and it's somewhat peaceful but I am afraid of the fact that I will never hear his voice again, I will never text him in the middle of the day to say hello, and I will never watch him laugh again. Thanks for your words of help and comfort.

I am happy that you had that meeting, yet sad that it reinforced what you knew in your heart.

My thoughts are with you; keep your loved ones close, they will be your best support network.

It has been a little over four months now that I said goodbye to my soulmate. I miss him so much and long for him daily. This pain is so intense I feel sometimes I will just expire from it.
I am seeing a therapist and that does help. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that I will NEVER see him or speak or touch him. This just seems impossible. I know that this is an experience that thousands of people go through every day. How do they do it? I am just a robot. Walking talking and in a daze....

Myn husband of 42 years passed away July 10, 2017. It was an expected death, but it was so hard to let him go. I know how scary it is to let go.