oh sweetie, yes, it does get easier, but I found the second year after losing my husband - and the second year after losing my mother much worse - the drama had subsided and the realisation of loss was much greater. I know in another post I sound as if it never goes - I think this is just where I am just now, because of other circumstances it has hit me hard. The toughest is that people dont understand and never can, unless they have been through it ... somehow in bereavement the feeling of great loss of a fiance/husband can take three years, the second as I said, realisation, the third getting used to being single again, put simplistically but gradually, gradually it becomes part of your history, though still soundly and completely part of you. The loss of my mother brought back a lot of the grief, because they were so close, & other complications, which is why I am so bad just now, health reasons as well. You will never ever forget him, but the loss will become livable with and part of your whole history, becoming a different person with a different life, but never forgetting and at times pushing back with serious hurt. I promise you, you will be happy again - remember this is still very early days for you, truly it is....if only friends realised this. Take great care....lots of love Cathrynn XXXXX

ps just to say, when I am very low (over some over things as well that have been troubling) I dont post - I just cant seem to face up to putting things down, making them more real. But it DOES help, just a line, to keep in touch, so please do keep in touch with us all - I found DS invaluable in recovering from my husbands death, then caring for my mother and her death - and since as well. Take care...XXXXX

in my experience it doesn't really get better just easier to cope with, but everyone is different I lost my husband 2 years ago and I still don't go out or plan to date anyone. People keep asking me if I plan to stay like this the rest of my life and all can answer them is "when the time comes I will know until then please leave it alone and respect my decision." At first it was very hard for me to celebrate anything but as time goes by like I said it gets easier. Yes I miss my husband and I always will and nothing will ever fill the void that his parting has left.

Hi ~ Being a widow now for 9 years, I can't say it has gotten BETTER ~ but it's changed, and has eased up. It has gotten easier, and I've accepted the fact that my Dave is gone. I'm not "grieving" as such ~ grief means: acute sorrow, deep sadness, intense emotional suffering. That's NOT what I feel like now. So I'm not grieving ~ I MISS him, definitely. I think what I feel is loneliness, some depression, I frequently remember the things we used to do together. And alot of my memories are with a smile!

I too resent people trying to live my life for me. If I want to go out, do something, I'll do it on my own, thank you very much! I do NOT intend on dating or marrying again!! So don't set me up with anyone because I will NOT go!

Yes, people call me and tell ME their troubles all day long. Who am I, Dear Abby? Don't you think *I* have troubles of my own? Have YOU ever bothered to listen to ME? Heck NO. I can't get a word in edgewise. Why am I so wise all of a sudden just because I'm a widow?!! Sheeesh!

I know what you're going thru QP. It's frustrating. But life DOES get easier, dearheart. You will NOT suffer for the rest of your life, and you WILL remember your loved one with smiles in time. I promise you. PLEASE take care of yourself ~ you're important too. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee